On April 25th, the ex had sent Keith a letter regarding “past due child support” and “past due uncovered medical expenses” and other bullshit. At one point in time, she had even called Keith to ask him what grade he would give her as a Parent. He gave her a C+ with reservation. She called 4/25/00 at 7:36pm.
He told her that for several years now, according to her emails and letters, the kids have been told BY HER that he “does not care about them, he does not love them, he doesn’t not care to help them out with anything that WHATEVER and ANYTHING they experience or feel or go through does NOT concern” him and now most recently, she told them that he “didn’t need them around him (during times of sorrow) for comfort.”
He went on to say that according to her letters and emails she has “exposed and discussed with (son) and (daughter) the problems we have between us and have blamed innocent people for these problems and in the process, tainted my relationship with the kids.” He wanted her to explain to him HOW, but telling the kids these things over and over again to the point of them ACTUALLY vocalizing these degrading and untrue comments about him, is in their best interest? How are they expected to open up to him about ANYTHING they may have questions or concerns about when all they are told is that “it doesn’t concern him” their dad. He asked “How do you think it makes me feel, or them, when they find out (eventually and if they do not already know) that you offered your husband to ADOPT my kids as his ow and take them away from me? How do you think it will make them feel, if they do not know already, that you “HATE ME, and you HATE ME MORE AND MORE everyday?”
At one point the ex brought up her sister and her sisters kids. According to the ex, they aren’t very good examples for HER kids. One smokes weed at 14 and one, at 12 has ” has been in several fights and has done the whole juvenile hall thing.” She told Keith “and don’t underestimate your son smoking dope.” The ex said that since it was her family (sister, niece and nephew) she will take care of the situation “to the point of turning (her niece) in to the authorities and letting them handle it. Keith said, “but yet, when I express my concern to you and tell you that if your 14 year old niece offers my kids to “get stoned” (your phrase) I will drive down to El Cajon and make the phone call myself, you accuse me of being narrow minded and tell me I have NO RIGHT to tell anyone else’s kids what to do even thought it will affect (his son) and (his daughter,)” She said if it ever came down to it, she would turn in her niece, but it really isn’t her nieces fault, it’s her mothers.
She also told Keith that she’s getting the distinct impression that Keith thinks she, the ex, “doesn’t do a good job as a parent, hasn’t done a good job, that she’s a failing parent and she’s somehow inadequate at it.” Keith asked her if she was baiting him.
She went on to blame me for their issues and that he let things get out of hand. He asked concerning what and she said, “I’m not saying concerning anything, I didn’t call to argue with you. I called to find out what you thought as far as me being an adequate parent. She continued,
J- you know I called the other night to talk to you and the blatant disregard, she never asked. She never asked if everything was ok, if the kids were ok, nothing.
K- uh, what?
J- she never asked
K- well now when what?
J- when I called
K- I don’t remember talking to you
J- you didn’t.
K- that’s right
K- so what?
J- I called and your wife answered the phone, and she said that I cannot talk to you, she never asked.
K- we were busy, I don’t remember you ever saying anything was wrong.
J- well, nobody asked,
K- oh so now we have to ask? When you call?
J- you know what? I don’t have to talk to her about (SS and SD). I don’t have to talk to her, I don’t have to talk….
K- look, look, look, are you warming up to something here or what?
J- No, I don’t have to talk to her about (SS and SD), you are their father, I can talk to you, I can deal with you, I don’t need to deal with Patricia, there’s no reason for me to deal with her at all.
J- there’s no reason, so when I called and asked to speak to you, I really wanted to speak to you, and she said you were busy, whatever, fine, but you never call back.
K- that’s right, because we were out late.
J- ok, well, it’s a week now
K- excuse me?
J- It’s been a week now
K- a week now what?
J- since I called
K- so, what’s the problem? I mean, I call the kids all the time, when I do call, they never call me, so what’s, what’s the problem? You call me once and I’m supposed to call you right back and if I don’t, what? What’s the deal?
J- there’s no deal
K- that’s right, there is no deal.
J- it’s all about pettiness and you let it get out of hand
K- excuse me?
J- It’s all about Pettiness and you let it get out of hand.
K- HEY look, don’t even start
J- start what?
K- you said, you said..OOOH oh, “don’t start what?” you start throwing these little barbs at me and go, “don’t start what?” you know, is this conversation over?
J- hung up.