Letter from the ex (he received 1/29/98) she wrote: “Letter dated January 7, 1998 from Patricia states the following, “I called our insurance company to verify coverage only to find out were are not showing up in the system as of yet. Both (insurance companies) advised me to send you a copy of the enrollment form so that when you take the kids to the doctor you can show your providers the form as proof of eligibility. Things should be find showing the form. Letter dated January 20, 1998 from Patricia states the following” I hope you haven’t experienced too much trouble with the medical end.”
Yep, that’s what I wrote her.
Then she commented ” Is your theory on being stepparents your own, because (their kids) would disagree they answer to only one set of parents? They respect (her husband) because he has been there for them on more than one occasion. And because that respect has been given and earned between them. It has nothing to do with you marry. Respect is earned not just given.”
HER disrespect to both Keith and I play a MAJOR roll in how the kids treat us.
Keith wrote a letter telling his ex that there is medical coverage on the kids and that it has been effective since 1/1/98. He told her she was sent the information and given the information on her answering machine on January 7th. He went on to say that in lieu of any cards until he receives them, she was told that upon presentation of the information provided to her, there would no problem with benefits being paid. She really has no idea? She really doesn’t pay attention to what is sent to her or told to her? OH wait, she only pays attention to “certain” things. 😉
He also told her that just as I am not the kids “mom,” her husband is not the kids “father” but being stepparents, we share an equal amount of authority and deserve equal amounts of respect as he and she gets being their parents.
So this letter dated January 17, 1998 started with comments about the IRS. Keith thought he would claim the kids because she never let him claim even ONE of them. Well, in 1996 he did and in January 1998 she brought it up. She told him that since he doesn’t pay 1/2 of what it costs to raise kids, and since the kids live with her full time she will not agree to him claiming one child. She said that they claim themselves and two kids and with the birth of your new baby this year you too claim yourselves and your two children. She wanted him to correct his error with the IRS “before this matter gets out of hand.” LOL
Under the title, “Gifts and Thank You’s:” she wrote that their kids “are old enough to choose by themselves whether to purchase gifts or cards for their family members. They are not children under the age of four anymore. If they want to purchase a card of gift for someone they either ask to go to the store or if I will pick something up for them or they make it themselves. I received a box and two cards one of which was from you on my birthday. This gift and card was not purchased by (the kids). Thank you for the gesture but it does seem appropriate for the situation. I do not feel bad if the kids don’t buy anything. The kids felt kinda weird about Pat buying their mom her birthday gift. The kids send thank you notes to people who they do not get a chance to thank in person.” She returned the gifts and cards that the kids had even signed. Keith was upset about that. We had asked the kids prior if it was ok with them we bought the gifts for them to send to her and they had no problem with it. After the gifts were sent back, Keith asked them if they were mad or upset and they said no but that their mom was mad we did this.
Under the title” Winter vacation and 1998 visits;” she wrote: ” The kids were asked by you while visiting at the holidays if their during the next year they would like to visit for five to six weeks during the summer. They do not want to spend longer than three to four weeks in Los Angeles, and they would like to spend most of that time with you not at home with Pat. They do not want to hurt your feelings and I asked them to tell you themselves. But they ask if I would just mention it too.”
Funny, when Keith asked the kids about spending 5-6 weeks at summer, they told him yes, it would be fun.
She also mentioned “Holidays, some other possibilities are Memorial Day, Labor Day and Thanksgiving Day” however on 2/10/1996 she said Thanksgiving was “not a realistic or economical possibility. They usually get out early on the Wednesday before and only have 4 days off. It would be too much for 2 days visit. I am unable to get them to an airport on any day except Saturday or Sunday due to the nearest major airport is a 3hour drive one way. We usually have snow conditions at that time of year and it would be a dangerous as well.”
Keith didn’t agree to ANY visitation she proposed.
She told him that she received his notice about the medical status not being set up as of yet and to please let her know as soon as possible when they kids are covered under his insurance.
I sent this to J today:
Hope this note finds you well. Here is some dental information we recently received. I hope you haven’t experienced too much trouble with the medical end, but as long as you are showing the enrollment form giving the Fed. Group # of (******), there shouldn’t be any problems. Anyway, take care. Patricia”
Sent another letter to N & L. Send them a couple pics for them both. Asked if they got their last box of presents, we hoped they did and that it arrived safely. Told them Thomas was getting his 3rd tooth and is quite cranky. He is starting to pull himself up now, and I can’t believe he will be 8 months old by the time they get this letter. Told them to take care, and we love them.
I wrote a letter to the kids, sending pics for them. I told them a lot of the pics are so cute. I told them we have sent off two of the three boxes of their presents, so they should get them soon. I told them we needed one more box to replace the other box because it was not working out. Included in my letter were some gift certificates from Grandpa and Grandma.
I sent this to J on 1-7-98:
Hope you had a great birthday! I called our insurance company to verify coverage only to find out we are not showing up in the system as of yet.
Both (insurance Co’s) advised me to send you a copy of our enrollment form so that when you take the kids to the doctors, you can show your providers the form as proof of eligibility.
When I get the information from (insurance) of course I’ll let you know. I will also keep you posted on the status, but things should be fine by showing the form.
We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause, we are in the same boat! FORTUNATEL, WE have NOTHING to do with the hold up!! We just want it cleared up soon!!
This letter is not sent maliciously or meant to get you upset. I am just keeping you posted on the insurance.
Have a great week! Sincerely- Patricia”
I called J’s and left a message on her answering machine at 9:15 am. The reason to call was to give Group # for insurance and to let her know I was sending a copy of the enrollment form.