Time Not on My Side

Sent this to J today:


I guess I should “time” these things better so you don’t feel overwhelmingly harassed, but time ISN’T always on my side!! Sorry!!

Here are a couple more copies of receipts from 7-30 when I took N to see the doctor about his (*****). Of course we are crediting ourselves this money so far.

In your message left on our answering machine, you stated “if there was a problem- I wish someone would have called me…”

Obviously there was no problem- it was not a life or death situation- it wasn’t even an emergency- the kids health is normal they sometimes get colds & flus & even sometimes just don’t feel good- this was the case- N was complaining of (********) we took him to the doctors. Do you call Keith when you take the kids to the doctors- I think not!! You don’t even call when it’s an Emergency (eg: April 1995) why are you making a mountain out of a mole hill??!

By the way- I did tell J and HE obviously told you- so whats the big deal! Obviously neither one of you thought it was an emergency situation, otherwise YOU would ahve called a hell of a lot sooner than you did! (after 7pm) Contrary to your way of thinking, the kids get taken care of when they are with us as well.

Secondly, you were obviously perturbed to find out Keith returned to work. NOONE told the kids he was off the entire time. When L asked if he had to work on the DAY we picked them up from the airport, we told both of them he was off for 3 weeks. We mentioned it again the 28th and 29th! When talked about it with the kids, they understood that Keith wouldn’t always be able to take a long vacation, if any at all sometimes, while they are visiting and N said, “So! That’s OK!” I told them that I had been told that they didn’t like me and didn’t want to stay with me while their dad worked, and N said that wasn’t true.

So, once again- contrary to your thinking the kids and I do get along- we do like each other, (it’s D they didn’t like) & if it’s ok for their dad to work while they are here visiting, then I must not be the ogre you portray me to be to them!!

You once made the comment to Keith that my letters to the kids are nothing like the one’s I write you- DUH! Since I need to spell it out- the reason for this is because I don’t have a PROBLEM with the kids!! If I did, the situation would be handled differently because they are kids!!

By the way, it’s none of your business when Keith works or doesn’t work- ask long as you continue to get your support money- what’s YOUR beef? I’m an adult- I have two kids of my own, and I can handle situations that come up at anytime. Although I have to say, it’s obvious you have serious doubts about Keith’s ability to be a good concerned parent. Take N’s (****) for example. This is nothing new. You & Keith have had this conversation before about his (*****), You told Keith you weren’t going to look into it further because your (provider) there said it was “growing pains and normal for a 12 year old.”

Well over the last two days or so it’s really been bothering N so Keith wanted him to be seen. N did most of the talking to the provider. He knows how his (****) feels, he knows when they hurt, he knows how to describe the pain- while the provider was examining him- his Left (****) in particular- really pained him. Does Keith get any kind of “thanks” ( for the lack of a better word)- not from you!!

Instead, he gets chastised about it, along with questions about sending you bills for it!! Excuse me, but “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.” J- you have joint legal custody (he will never give you sole custody) and just as you see fit to take the kids to the doctor for their illnesses and when you are concerned about something, so does he.

Lastly, the kids and I are having a great time- they both have fun with and love Thomas, their new brother, and take turns holding him and feeding him. They have been like this with him since day one!! I’m glad to see it, so is Keith. They are real good with Sarah as well, although she is your typical 3 year old and gets jealous sometimes, but kids will be kids and for the most part, they play and get along every day.

So anyway- take care and I’m sure we’ll be hearing from you one way or another. Until then- Patricia”

More Copies

Sent this letter to J today.

“Hi J-

Here are copies I think you need for your records. So far we are crediting ourselves, $4.82.

When you receive the bill after both insurance companies have processed the claim- we will be paying the balance due, since we owe you money, and will deduct your share from what we owe you, just as we are doing for N’s 4/6/97 visit to hospital. Thank you- Patricia”


First, I called the ex’s home and her husband answered which was perfect. I was calling regarding his insurance. I asked him if I can get authorization to give his insurance info along with his social security number to providers. He said Yes, We had to take (SS) to the docs and he didn’t have his card this time, unlike the last time, when he was here. He asked what happened and I told him.

J called at 9:30pm and left a message on our answering machine. “If there was a problem, I wish someone would have called me.”


In Compliance

Sent this to J from both Keith and I today.

” J-

Per your request on our answering machine on or around July 24, 1997 we are in compliance and are sending you copies of the bills you have requested.

Arrangements have been made for US to pay these bills, as we stated we would to you in previous letters, so please make adjustments in your paperwork to deduct $125.84 from the amount we owe you.

Please send an updated amount still owing you, ASAP.

Thank you-

Keith and Patricia (last name)”

attached are copies of 2 bills.

And Again

J called at 9:00 pm and left a message on our voicemail. She was talking to someone, and said, “they’re not home- (inaudible) hear it?”


I didn’t catch the time, but J called and left a voicemail saying she was calling for the kids and for Keith, she requested copies of the bills (that she said she wasn’t going to pay) ASAP to pay or make adjustments or whatever they are going to do.

Here We Go Again….

J- called our home on 7-18-97, complaining about stuff as usual, including me, as usual.

I wrote her a letter dated 7-20-97 and mailed it today, 7-22-97:


“Here we go around the mulberry bush, the money chased the weasel!!” This is what I think 99% of the time you wrote or call It’s the SOS different day with you!!

This letter is in response to your harassing phone call to our home on July 18th, 1997. I was mentioned during this conversation, so I have a right to respond.

The letter Keith sent you dated 7-15-97, was sent to you because he told you there was a “difference of opinion” in the amount of money he owes you and he would send you a letter showing you why. did you hear this part of the conversation or were you not listening once again?

Keith drafts up the letters, I type them. How do WE know if YOU wrote YOUR computer printed letters? It’s not YOUR handwriting yet you sign them! Get a grip J- if you are going to call our home to harass us about a letter that you received, stick to the contents of the letter!! Every letter you receive is in direct response to letters you write Keith!!

There is nothing “derogatory” about telling the truth. You refused to pay 1/2 of a bill, which is against court orders making you in contempt of court YOU should know this- Prior to June 1996, you accused Keith of this VERY thing since Dec 95-actually Jan 1996! Now, let me speak to you in English- you refused to pay 1/2 of the bill Keith told you about- NOT because you weren’t sent a copy, as you want US to believe, BUT because Keith “still owes you money on bills you have there.” Hey, no problem- no big deal- we’ll pay the bills & deduct the amount you owe from the amount Keith owes you- sounds fair! However don’t be so quick to accuse Keith of being in contempt for non payment. You do get money every moth, to be applied towards medical etc. $100 as a matter of fact!

As long as the kids are covered under J’s (her husbands) insurance, at least for the duration- you will continue to receive copies of EOB’s, when this coverage ceases, as YOU have stated it will, you will no longer receive EOB’s- there will be no need. You will find out what the insurance- (Keith’s insurance) pays, when you receive a bill from the provider of service you used. You will still be required to send Keith a copy of the bill since he is court ordered to pay 1/2 and will need proof of what he is paying for.

Incidentally- the only way Keith would owe 1/2 of EVERYTHING the insurance paid out is if J cancels the policy on the kids retroactively to as far back as 2-20-93. This could add up to a hell of a lot of money, just because you feel the need to be spiteful and shitty to Keith- I can’t imagine J cancelling as far back as 2-20-93- but stranger things have happened! Instead of threatening all the time now about this, just have J do the inevitable, isn’t this what YOU want him to do, oh I mean what he needs to do?

Apparently you are not TOO concerned about bothering Keith or the kids during their visitation as you stated on Monday. Otherwise you never would have called! Do you not have any scruples or decency? Self control is OBVIOUSLY a problem!! According to your letters and phone calls, you know how much Keith and the kids love each other. Your statement- “I hope you are showing the kids that they are equally as important as your new life…” is so moronic, not to mention unconscionable!!

OK, OK, OK- so Keith has been married 4 times- so- your point? You’ve been married twice- so has J-at least! I think I’m in the minority here- I’ve only been married once! Lets see- there’s wife #1- B- I think she’s a beautiful, decent human being who “lives and lets lives.” Wife #2- you- be like B- “Live and let live” Life would be so much sweeter! Wife #3-D- I’ve known her for 17 years now. She “needed to go back to the land of Milk and honey to feel pure and whole again” and hasn’t been heard from since. Wife #4- me- I love and trust my husband completely. This is why I married him- it CERTAINLY wasn’t for his money and it CERTAINLY wasn’t because it was a “better offer.” I defend him and protect him, which is MY right as his wife.

On May 19, 1997, you called a truce between us- it only lasted until July 18th though pretty good for YOU, huh? Talk about back stabbing! The conversations we had while making travel plans for the kids, the 45 minute conversation we had after I had the baby, the tidbits of info you bestowed unto me- all bullshit!! You told Keith, “If your wife would spend as much time trying to get me to do this & to try & compile this info as she would on a job- you wouldn’t have this problem.” First of all, I think you said this backwards, and secondly, I do have a job- I am on maternity leave because I had a baby- did you forget? Hello? Get a grip!!

The fact of the matter is- or should I say the the “heart of the matter” (sound familiar? Bring back any memories? You wrote down the words to this song and sent it to Keith- how sweet!) is that you can only get a long with Keith and myself or a BRIEF period of time!!

I truly believe it when Keith tells you that you have a grudge against him that goes WAY back and you can’t let it go!! Every time you call and harass, you throw things up from the past! Get over it girl- YOU told him to leave- he did!! YOU told him you didn’t want to be married anymore, You’re not!! (Lucky for me!!) YOU got your wishes- be happy!!

You need to watch your own P’s and Q’s because with everything I know about you and your “controversial” past shall we say- you are the LAST person on this earth who should pass judgment on Keith, myself, Sarah and Thomas. By the way, who died and made you God? Your sanctimonious attitude is not very becoming of you!!

It has been almost 7 weeks since my last note- Merry Christmas!! (In July!!)



Here We Go Again….

J called at 7:40 pm. She was pissed. Pissed that he credited the wire fees, ($20) and the Person to Person collect call she made the kids do of $9.11 toward money that he owed her. She told Keith a few days ago that she wasn’t going to pay 1/2 of medical bills incurred on behalf of their son. He wrote a letter to her. She got it today apparently.

She brought me up, asking Keith:

J- got your letter, very petty. did you write this letter?

K- yeah, I did.

J- you wrote all these figures and figured all this out?

K- that’s right.

J- you typed it

K- I didn’t type it, I wrote it.

J- did Patricia type it?

K- yes she did

J- did they see her?

K- no they didn’t. I’M BROKE.

J- you know what? if your wife would spend as much time trying to get me to do this and to try and compile this information as she would on a job, you wouldn’t have this problem! It’s not my problem that you don’t have a second income and that you had another baby!

K- I never said it was

J- or that you’re supporting another kid that’s not yours, that’s not my fault! If you want to talk about just you by yourself and your income and you supporting your two kids, we’ll talk about it.

(He did say he was broke, right?) Then she thought I was on the phone… she continued to berate Keith:


K- excuse me?


K- There ain’t nobody on the phone


K- There’s nobody on the phone so get off your rag!

She alleges he sent her a derogatory letter between 7/14 and 7/18. The kids are here visiting, mind you. She tells Keith:

J- I wasn’t going to call your house the entire time the kids were there because I don’t want to hassle you when you’re visiting your kids so I wasn’t calling you- I’m not hassling you!

K- you’ve been hassling me since we got on the phone!

J- The letter comes because I didn’t call you back and tell you about the money, so you decided to have your little secretary sit down and write it all out for you.

J- I wrote it out.


K- bullshit


K- I don’t care if you think it is or isn’t.

J- THIS ISN’T YOUR HANDWRITING! I hope you’re showing the kids that they’re equally as important as your new life!

K- excuse me, what?

J- I hope you’re showing the kids that they’re equally as important as your new life, that it’s breaking you with no money, that new life is breaking you!

THEN, she was beyond pissed and started talking MAJOR smack, insisting that Keith tells his kids how horrible she is, what a horrible person she is with no heart.

Keith told her she is that way TO HIM and OTHERS LIKE HIM, but he NEVER tells the kids anything.

She continued to rage to TELL the kids what a horrible mother she is. He told her, “I have NEVER done that, and I NEVER will do that. That’s between you and me”

She accused him and I of having conversations about her in front of the kids. He DENIED this, again saying he never has and he never will, he’s not that type of person, that he never has told the kids about his feelings about her and he never will, that it’s between him and her.

He tells her:

K- I kick myself in the ass all the time. I’m glad for (SS and SD) but I knew right from the start there was something wrong with you, you really do.

J- you told me you thought there was some kind of mental thing going and you knew something was wrong with me from the beginning

K- you told me there was.

J- when?

K- many times. You’ve had something against me that you cannot let go and you just have to keep pushing me- and then you make it sound like I’m doing it to you!

J- Well, you what, if you thought it was so bad,7 years of being together Keith I think you should have made a decision before it got that far.

K- Well, I’ll tell you what, I thought it was going to be a good deal

J- Just like you thought it was going to be a good deal with (ex #3), just like you think it’s going to be a good deal with Patricia.

K- ya, I know, it’s me, and it probably is, I bring the best out in everyone

J- I haven’t been married 4 times!

K- well, throw that on me, what else? What about all the boyfriends you had while we were married?

J denied this.

K- I’m not going to get into it, it will just raise my blood pressure and it’s not worth it.

J demanded to speak to her kids. She was crying by this time, and Keith asked if she was ok. She got angry and said that she doesn’t pretend with her kids, she’s not ashamed of her, the kids will figure it out- they know what’s going on-“THEY AREN’T STUPID!” Keith said, “I never said they were, I was concerned about you and thought you ay need a MINUTE” She belts out, “NO, I DON’T NEED A MINUTE!” he went and got the kids and she goes on to say, before the kids got on the phone, “I NEED A FUCKING LIFETIME BACK!”

WHEW, not only did she try and gaslight him, but she also doesn’t hear when correctly when she is in this RAGE state of mind.