Month: February 2003

(sent stepkids and other family an email this morning at 10:33am)

“Good morning! Thomas has a doctor’s appointment this morning to have his ears checked. He has another ear infection a couple weeks ago, and his pediatrician referred him to his ENT doctor for a check up. This is probably his 2nd or 3rd ear infection in about 2.5 yrs.

His ENT doc said that his let ear looks pretty good, but his right ear has some fluid. 😦

Doc said that he wants to see him back in 4 weeks, for another check up, because sometimes the body will take care of itself, and he will also schedule a hearing test for that time to see if Thomas has any hearing loss.

Doc said it is possible that he may need to have tubes put in his ears again, but his next appointment in 4 weeks, we will know more. I will keep you posted. Love you all, P~”

Keith responded to his son’s email from yesterday afternoon. He wrote, “(Son’s name), I am always in a good mood, thanks for asking. I have had things on my mind, woried about grandpa and his physical problems HE has right now, and thinking about my uncle that just died recently suddenly from a sudden stroke, and my niece, your cousin, who has been diagnosed with (her dx) and in the same breath, I get a sarcastic hate filled email from you (son’s name), and yeah, I cussed, and I apologixe and I am not perfect (son’s name) BUT I am forgiven. DO NOT EVER question my faith or belief again. I forgive you (son’s name) but have you accepted the Lord into YOUR heart? If you haven’t, you need to, as time is running out. Open up that Bible I bought you a couple years ago, and read the gospel of John to better understand what I am talking about.

If this is really you writing me, maybe you have forgotten that I had started sending you information on the insurance since Dec. 9th, 2002. Maybe you have forgotten that the insurance didn’t go into effect until Jan. 11, 2003. Maybe you have forgotten that I had been asking you if you had received any information being mailed to you regularly, and you couldn’t even answer me. Maybe you forgot that the first email I even received from you about the insurance was Jan. 31st. Guess that all means nothing though, huh? By the way, you’re welcome.

Adult conversation (son’s name)? What exactly is that to you? You have never answered ANY of my questions concerning your life. You have never even answered the emails I sent when I was sending you scholarship forms before you graduated. Not even a “thanks Dad for trying to help and thinkin of me.” Why? I guess you couldn’t be bothered.

The emails I have gotten from you since Jan. 31, 2003 is the MOST I have heard from you or “talked” to you since you left here in August of 2001.

Hopefully, you will re read some of those emails I sent you, and answer some of those questions if you want to have an adult conversation. I will continue to pray for you every day and I love you and you are right, when God misses you, do do die, and sometimes all of a sudden and without warning, in the twinkling of an eye. Dad”

I feel bad for both Keith and his daughter, at this point. Neither one knows whether they are coming or going. What a mind fuck this lady has done to them. To ME, this is emotional abuse, let alone, psychological abuse, mental abuse. DAMN.

ANYWAY, Keith wrote his daughter and cc’d his ex at 0530 this morning. He told his daughter, “Good morning, just a note to say I love you and hope you have a good day.

Obviously you having to decide about spring break causes you a lot of stress, so let me make it easy for you.

Don’t come. Obviously you are having issues about being here so maybe it is best for your to stay home and them work out as best you can, in between your “plans” with your mom. The person that makes the ultimate decision as to whether you come or not HAS decided, and it is not fair to you, but that is the way it is. I am not longer planning on you being here and I am not going to take the time off work, and no one else will be home.

We miss you, including Pat and Sarah so we will see you in the summer. Love Dad. “

SO sad for both Keith and his daughter to be put in that position. His daughter being too stressed to make a decision, and Keith for not being able to see his daughter AND son for that matter without ANY hassles. Also because HE had to make the decision for his daughter, to not come.

His ex got what she wanted, but more importantly, Keith thought of the obvious anguish his daughter was feeling.

DAMN….

So, stepdaughter e-mailed her dad, ( AND her mother) at 1918, saying that since the court date changed by spring break, she can’t decide if she should go or not. She said this court thing is kind of upsetting her and making her feel like she is the one who is causing all the trouble, that hopefully it isn’t. She tells him she is in the middle of everything, and it’s making her mad she is the one who has to deal with her parents going to court over something that should just be able to work out on the phone. She doesn’t understand any of this court thing and she tries not to let it upset her so badly.

How sad is that? Keith doesn’t talk to her about this shit. She hears it from her mother.

Keith responded to her at 1925 and resent it at 2100 since she had also sent it to her mother. He responded to her by telling her that he doesn’t know what she was talking about, the court date being changed by spring break, that the court date has nothing to do with visitation. He told her he thought she had decided she would be coming, back in January. He told her he was sorry the court thing is upsetting her, that he has asked her mom not to discuss it with her. He told her she shouldn’t be the one to deal with this and that he was sorry she was put in the middle. He asked if she had asked her mom, TOLD her mom not to discuss it with her or put her in the middle. He told her he was sorry it upsets her, that he loves her.

Even though she had sent the email to both her parents, and Keith responded to both of them, his daughter wrote him and told HIM that he needs to stop sending his e-mails between him and her mom, because she can’t take their arguments anymore…it makes her upset so just stop PLEASE. she wrote that unless it concerns her then she doesn’t want it to be sent to her, thanks.

Keith responded, “no problem. your mom is the one that said visitation is strictly up to you , and that you are the one deciding and since it is your decision, you are to make the plans. I was just following what she says. Sorry, Dad.”

GEEZUS….

Really? Coming from her? That is RICH!

Her email from this morning at 0657am subject being, “What we are saying is…”

She writes, “Give peace a chance.

HA! Take your own advice. HA HA! That is funny considering your email to me from Feb 3rd about not accepting email from me, then you turn around and email on Feb 7th and again on the 17th.

(Daughter) is trying to tell you that she is uncomfortable going to your house while we are unable to compromise. The court date is too close to Spring Break. I had hoped this matter would be resolved before she visited. This goes and went for Christmas break too.

Uncomfortable coming here huh? Is that why you wrote that she has a good time and enjoyed herself when she was here at Christmas? I can’t imagine how she feels living with you. The court date and spring break have nothing to do with each other. Unable to compromise? YOU said on Jan. 5th, the decision was all hers. SHE said on Jan. 28th she decided to come out. Compromise? What goes and went for Christmas break too? What Christmas? I was denied my Christmas with the kids in 2001, and conveniently, got (daughter) for a week in 2002. Saving face are you? Knowing you planned it that way? Just so you can say, “but judge, the kids did go see their dad when it was MY turn, doesn’t that mean anything?” That is so obvious.

She feels and thinks you and your wife will treat her badly, ask her to many questions and hold all this against her. What she is trying to explain is that she does not want it to effect her visit.

It seems that’s what you have put in her head. She was never treated badly and she has never been asked “to many questions”. I don’t have the insatiable need to call her home phone or now cell phone 3, 4, 5, 6 times a day to check in and have her give a low down as to what is going on while she is with you, like you do when she is with me. In other words, spy. I have nothing to hide, but it is comical to see in action. I don’t hold anything against her. Never have, never will. That is another fallacy you are planting in her head. I never said the court would affect her visit. Seems you are the one doing a lot of mouthing off. Seems your constant jabber to her and (son) of all your ill feelings towards me and court, etc. have taken and are taking a toll.

What she is trying to say is that she does not want any e-mails between us because your wife (and we all know this) is sending them. She wants us, her dad and her mom ONLY to work things out nicely. Without outside interference.

YOU are the one that said she is the one to decide visitation. It was all her decision you said, so SHE has to make the arrangements. YOU have been saying this for many, many years now, despite court orders. SO, I have followed YOUR orders, and included her in the emails discussing spring break visitation. After all, you have included her (and son, AND your mom) in emails not related to anything court ordered. I am a big boy. I am not illiterate. I write my own emails, every one of them.

I told her the decision to visit is hers. However she has until the 21st of this month to make the decision. I will begin the search for airfare as soon as she decides.

You told me the decision was hers to. In fact, you gave me your “official notice” on Jan. 5th regarding this. SHE made the decision on Jan. 28th, and now YOU are the one with the problem. YOU are the one that has her doubting her decision because of all the little seeds of doubt you planted. SO make up YOUR mind. Seems her mind was already made up. You love giving that “false power” to her don’t ya? You love say, “her decision so she can make the arrangements” and then rip it from her. Wow, how “special” you are, NOT.

I don’t want her treated differently or badly because of court proceedings. Ultimately I get to say what happens as far as it being my week. I have never taken a week since 1995 due to the fact that the kids never wanted to stay at your house for 6 weeks. I did and do what my kids want. I speak for them, fight for them and take care of them.

Oh please, you have proven over and over again, that the only agenda you have is NOT for the kids, it is all about you, and YOUR need for control. You love giving the kids a false empowerment, making them think they actually have a say in their life, and then rip it from them. You prove it here yet again, “ultimately” you get to say what happens as far as it being your week. You spoke on Jan. 5th. YOU went as far as to say, “if (daughter) wants to spend her spring break with you, she can” SHE spoke on Jan.28th, SHE decided she was coming out, and you revoked it on Feb. 17th. NOW you say you did and do what “your” kids want? HA HA HA! Thanks for the laugh. 1995? What? In 1995, you refused to discuss or enter into a parenting plan in 1995, and it was December of 1995 at that, so what are you talking abut since then you haven’t taken a week due to the fact that the kids never wanted to stay at my house for 6 weeks? Staying 6 weeks at my house wasn’t even discussed in 1995. Get your facts straight.

She does not want the hassles actually none of us do.”

Right, that’s why you keep this up huh? You love this. You are going to do exactly what you always do, read this and tell (daughter) all about it, (daughter), (son), your mom, and all the other outside interferences you go to. YOU LOVE causing hassles. Keith”

To Keith, this email from his ex read like this: ” (daughter) is trying to tell you that I am uncomfortable with her going to your house while I am unable to compromise with you. The court date is too close to spring break and I am glad it isn’t resolved. I was also glad you only got the visitation you did at Christmas. I feel and think that you and your wife will treat her badly, and I am telling her that. I am putting that in her head. I am also telling her that you will be nosy, your wife will be nosy and you both will use it against her. I am telling her as I have told all these years that the emails are coming from your wife, because I don’t like your wife and I won’t allow your wife and (my daughter) to forge their own relationship because I am jealous. I will begin the search for airfare as soon as I decide whether she can visit or not because, after all, I have all the ultimate say so. I never wanted the kids to spend court ordered visitation with you, so I was not agreeable to anything you sent. I told the kids when and for how long they would visit with you.”

THAT is how her email read to Keith. THAT is how the ex has been since day 1. He nearly told her that much in his response. He wrote her back at 1426. What he wrote is above in bold orange.

Stepson emailed his dad. He told him he was “Glad to see you in a good mood. If its really you writing me. THANKS for sending the medical and dental info that I have been asking about for TWO MONTHS. Whats with the profanity? Glad to see your the bigger person that can hold an adult conversation. I am shcoked to read what you wrote. To use profanity, when i used non is unbeleviable. For a perosn such as yourself who is a avid chruch goer. I would expect you to have better maners. Thanks fo responding with such dignity Love, (son’s name)” tag line reads “When God misses you, you DIE.”

Color me shocked! At least we now know why I was getting no response from my stepson. He emailed his Dad this evening at 6:26pm.

This email surprised both his dad and I. Stepson wrote, “Dad, Just to let you know today nobody was home and we received on of those slips saying there was something sent to me that was a priority or something. Not like priority matters because I am not going to the post office to go pick it up. I am not going to go and stand in line for 2 hours just for some letter. That could have been mailed regularly. It probably is just some four page letter from PAT. Kinda like the one she sent to the eye doctor in (his mother’s city), HUH! Also I would like to not receive any more emails from PAT. If I wanted to receive emails from her I would have emailed her in the first place. Since I am emailing you and not HER. Any of her emails directly sent to me on my grandmas email will be deleted without being read. LOVE, (stepsons name)”

This email from his son has a tag line, “Trying to be a FATHER now, Is a little to little LATE, Don’t you think?”

WTH? Keith responded at 7:00pm asking his son, “Having a bad day, (son’s name)?”

The more he thought about it, and mulled over the tag line, Keith was not happy. He responded again at 7:13pm. He emailed his son again, “(son’s name), get that hair out of your ass, (son’s name). I don’t know what your problem is. This information is medical and dental stuff that YOU have been asking about. You don’t have to wait 2 hours IN LINE to get it and there is a phone number on the paper to call for redelivery. I sent it you this way so that I would know YOU got it. GOT IT (son’s name)? I am doing the same thing NOW that I have ALWAYS been trying to do, and have SOME kind of communication with you. I don’t NEED this SHIT. Dad”

Spring Break this year, 2003 is not her year and Keith let her know at 1447 today.

He wrote, correcting her. He told her “According to the court papers of July 1998, it says we are to alternate Easter Spring Break commencing 2000, and that if you exercise your this break in your year, I will have an additional week in summer.

2000 was YOUR year, 2001 was my year, 2002 was YOUR year, 2003 IS MY YEAR.

On Jan. 28. 2003 (daughter) sent me an email telling me she decided to come out for spring break this year…”

Ex wrote tonight. The subject line is, ” Patricia.” (ME!) She told Keith back in 1995 or so, that I can “butt out” but she hasn’t allowed that thus far. These are only emails where she has mentioned me and does not include the phone conversations she had with Keith about me, or the phone conversations she has directly with me, but she wanted me to butt out. Yeah, ok.

She told Keith in this email that she “did not have children with Patricia (maiden name). I do not want her correspondence. She has no legal or moral rights to our children. Please inform her that if she does not stop sending me unwanted correspondence especially to my service providers I will obtain a restraining order with the child support modification.

If you cannot stand up to your responsibilities and be a parent then so be it. Don’t put her in your place. No one wants to hear from her. Not (daughter), not (son) and not any of my family. This should be true as your family wants nothing to do with her either.

Stop her from interfering with our children or I will get legal orders to do so. And these orders would prevent you from seeing your children while she is around. You choose either to control your wife or loose your children.”

LMMFAO! OK, she hates me so much that she can’t even accept the fact that Keith and I have been married for almost 7 years now. LOL How do I know? Because she used me maiden name in this email. Bless her heart.

Due to the fact that Keith works the same hours as the insurance companies we deal with, and I work a split shift, I have more time than he does to call them. Maybe SHE should stop bitching about what I do, and do claim follow ups. OH, but that would be too much like being RIGHT, because she would rather bitch about it and take 2-3 months to get eob’s to Keith, and bitch about how he isn’t paying his share of expenses. I do what I do to help my HUSBAND, and if that means calling her insurance to find out the STATUS of a claims, then so be it. It’s NOT illegal. I did this kind of work when I worked at the ambulance company, and I can tell you how many times I was threatened with a restraining order….NOT ONCE.

She never gets it, understands that her insurance company does not tell me the details of the claim, except to say it was paid, pended (and why) or denied. Then I do what I have to do to get the claim processed, either paid or denied. It’s that simple. No invasion of privacy, especially when Keith was court ordered to pay half of uncovered expenses.

Ignorance…..

At 1024 this morning, the ex emailed Keith saying she was giving him 45 days written notice that she was exercising her right to have their daughter during Spring Break this year. She said, “She will NOT be visiting you during Spring Break 2003 due to the court date set for child support modification. We have plans for that week. (ex’s name)”