Month: June 2000

I haven’t really spoken to the kids since Tuesday night. I HATE LIVING LIKE THIS! I hate walking on egg shells because (SS) may be in a bad mood! I told Keith that I cannot bring myself to “act happy” when I am CLEARLY and OBVIOUSLY am not. The kids accused me with A LOT of some stupid things that were not true and they would not listen to anything different. It was not fair. CLEALRY J has tainted their minds against Keith and I, and WHAT A BITCH for doing that! EVERYTHING they have said, J has said to us first. They are just parroting HER!

Keith took (SS), Sarah, Sarah’s friend Kaila, and Thomas to the pool for awhile. (SD) stayed here because she was not feeling well. Her stomach hurt. She came down to my room and asked if she could use the phone. To call her mom? I guess we will see when the phone bill comes.

Keith came back about 1.5 hours later. and told me that (SD) had thrown up. I told him she never said anything to me, that if she could come and ask me to use the phone, she could have told me that she wasn’t feeling well and I could have given her some sprite or something and bread or whatever kind of crackers we had, until I went to the store when Keith came back. After she threw up, though, Keith made her some lunch of fish sticks and she ate those! Was she really sick?

About 3 pm, I told the Keith that I wanted to speak to the kids, and tell them why I was not speaking to them, except when I had to. We all sat down and I apologized for not speaking to them for a day and a half or so, but I was and am very upset that they accused me of things that were not true and about things that they should know NOTHING about. I told them it makes NO sense that I am the cause of their mother’s impending divorce, and how can I be when I live 1500-1800 miles AWAY! How much sense does that make? I told them that when I asked (SS) if their Stepdad and their mother were divorced yet and he yelled at me that it is none of my business, I said, “That is RIGHT! It is none of my business, just like it is none of yours and CERTAINLY not your place to tell Sarah that he is NOT her brother since she is not aware of that.” He understood. I also told him that I knew it hurt him when I told said that their mom is on medication for something she told me about, but I did not make that up, that SHE called ME and told me and if they ever wanted to hear it, let me know and I will play the recording for them. I asked them how would I know this if she didn’t tell me? They had no answer.

I told them that for the last 6 years, all I have done was try and make them feel welcomed and comfortable and part of our family here. I thought things were going well, until Tuesday night. I asked if they meant what they said when they said they didn’t like me, Sarah, or Thomas and they BOTH said it was just something they said at the time. I asked them if there was anything they would change if they could when they are here, and the said no, that everything was fine. I asked if we were too happy for the, if we didn’t fight enough for them, if we asked too much of them, what? They both said that they wouldn’t change anything. I told them I miss talking to them, IN OUR HOME, and that when (SD) and I go somewhere, crazy things happen. She just chuckled.

We told that if there is ANYTHING that we do do that they do not like, let us know RIGHT AWAY so we can talk about it instead of having another episode like Tuesday night. We them that whatever they do or think, DOES concern Keith because he is their father and he loves the and wants to know what is going on with them. IF they do not tell him, we will never know. They said OK.

All in all, it was a good talk. I think we did well in speaking to them at least opened the lines of communication a little more. It is OBVIOUS by the things (SS) had said before about things being NONE of Keith’s concerns all stem from their mother.

We called AMTRAK and made reservations for the kids to go to their grandmothers in San Diego. They had made up their minds last night, packed their stuff, and said they didn’t want to stay with us any longer. Keith told them about 10 am to make sure they had all their stuff packed because we were leaving at 1pm. They asked where we were going and he told them to the train station, they were going to their grandmothers.

Both kids told him they didn’t want to go, and they were sorry for what happened yesterday. (SS) said he knew that it wasn’t right for that he told Sarah what he did. Then they came to my room to apologize to me. I told them their apology was accepted and that they had NO IDEA what their dad had to go through just to be able to see them and how excited he is just before they get here and how depressed he is when they leave.

Around noon, their mother called. Keith answered. He gave the phone to his daughter first. Apparently the ex asked to speak to Keith, who ended up hanging up on her AGAIN. She threatened with court again. He told her he got the argument straightened out with the kids and he doesn’t need to talk to her about anything. She said,

J- Oh, we’ll out that down in court papers!

K-Oh, put it all on there, J, and bring it on! I’m looking forward to it, believe me, you ought to think twice!

J- After last night you’re gonna lose, BUD…

K- you ought to think twice about it- oh don’t give me that BUD stuff.

J- after last night…

K- hung up.

She immediately called back, Keith answered and she asked to speak to their son.

Keith had told me what kind of medicine his son had been given yesterday, before a procedure, to relax him. Makes sense now.

His son went to the doctor’s at his mothers request, while he was here. Later in the evening, Keith and his son had it out, and then his daughter got involved, then I got involved. The kids were accusing me of being the cause of their mom’s problem, the cause of her divorce from her second husband, etc. I told them that they were just parroting what their mother has told them and they said no. They said they didn’t want to be here with their dad and me and Sarah and Thomas. They just wanted their dad. They wanted to leave and were packing their bags so we called their Grandma in San Diego, but she wasn’t home. I called their mother and told her that she needed to come down and get her kids or make arrangements to have them picked up. She became belligerent, so I handed the phone to her son. She talked to both kids and then to Keith “They (the kids) have every right to say that Sarah is NOT their sister!” and he ended up hanging up on her. She called back and talked to the kids again. She had her daughter pass on a message to us. Her daughter said, while her mother was on the phone, “If my mom has to come down here, you’ll be VERY, VERY sorry!” After they hung up, the kids continued packing their stuff, saying they didn’t want to stay.

Nobody went anywhere, except to bed.

It all started because (SS) told Sarah that he is NOT her brother. She’s 7 and doesn’t quite grasp the step sibling thing. She doesn’t realize that he isn’t her real brother, like Thomas. She knows that Keith is their dad, so (SS) is her brother. She understands that they have different mothers. (SS) also has had a VERY bad attitude and Keith was tired of it. He also could have had a reaction to pain medicine the doc had given him earlier in the day.

emailed this to J- at 12:04 pm-

“Hello J-

Keith asked me to do him a favor and call DMV this morning. Here is what I was told.

N needs to show proof of drivers edu. from WA that allowed him to get his permit there.

He cannot have 2 permits or 2 licenses for 2 different states.

He has to have a permit in CA for 6 months (showing residence) before he can be eligible to test for his license, OR he can wait until he is 18.

It would be better to go through this whole process in WA since he has already started it there and then if he decides to move to CA he can get his license converted to a CA license by taking the written test.

Just wanted you to know.

Patricia”

in this email the ex wrote Keith, “First of all the e-mails are addressed to Richard not anyone else….” A few sentences later, she writes, “Keep your personal comments to yourself . And tell your wife to do so too.” HA! The ex was emailing about their son driving and college. How did I get involved? LOL She wants Keith to help their son get his permit here in CA even though he lives in WA and taking college courses in high school. The kids are supposed to be here in a few days.

she tells Keith that “part time of full time parenting is no different” that his responsibility to the kids is the same and that continuing with their education while they are with him and supporting their activities remains the same whether they are in WA or CA. she tells him, “don’t let the kids sit home everyday doing nothing, learning nothing, help them out with their lives and the choices they make.” Well, he can talk to the kids about their lives and their choices, but getting them into summer school here and getting their permit here is really not possible since their primary residence is NOT this state. Why doesn’t she understand that?