Month: November 2021

“Today was probably the worst day of my life. I had been busy with daily life as usual. My husband was delivering mail right across the street, but about 1130am, (not sure if that is really the time, but it’s the time that sticks in my head) he stopped by to bring me our mail, to kiss me and tell me he loved me. I had NO IDEA what was in store for our lives.

I remember looking at the clock and it said 3:38pm. I was leaving to go pick our daughter up from school and to take her and our son to get a bite to eat. They wanted McDonalds.

I got home at approximately 410pm and noticed there was a message on my phone. I listened to it. It was one that I will never forget. It was a message from my husband’s work, telling me I needed to call them, that my husband had been taken to the ER for what was thought to be a heart attack.

I did panic, but calmed myself, thinking they had to be wrong, he probably just pulled a muscle somehow, and it felt like he was having a heart attack. I called his work, and was given the number to the Big Boss. I called him. I don’t remember much from that conversation. I do remember telling my kids that they were going to stay at my neighbors house while I ran up to the hospital to check on their dad. My kids would not hear of that, they wanted to go with me. So we went. On my way out, I called my sister to tell her what was going on and she met me there.

I am not sure what time I got to the ER. I remember looking into the faces of the doctor and the nurse and I remember saying, “What? Is he DEAD? Are you going to tell me he’s dead?” The doctor and the nurse’s eyes and expression told me without them saying a word. My husband WAS gone….GONE…DEAD…HOW!? WHY?! I had just seen him earlier that day! I was looking forward to him coming home, we were going to watch a movie together, it COULDN’T be true!!!!

My husband’s boss was there, and a couple more showed up. I remember calling my Pastor, who had been performing a wedding and suddenly he was there with his wife, and I am not sure who else was there, but there were a lot of people there.

I made several phone calls, one was regrettably to my husbands ex mother in law. I didn’t want to do that, because it was my husband’s wish NOT to let his ex wife know if anything happened to him or if he passed away. (I do have the email from him to his ex regarding this.) My husband’s ex wife did call me, and was cordial for a MINUTE.

I remember telling my Pastor that I didn’t know how I was going to tell my kids, because on the way to the hospital I had already told them their daddy was going to be ok. My Pastor, with my blessing and in my presence, told my kids. My daughter cried and so did my son and my son said, “I’m going to miss him!”

I remember being with my husband not not letting the nurse leave us. I remember just crying and telling my husband to come back to me, rubbing his chest, telling him to wake up, we needed him, he can’t be gone, we have PLANS!

I remember when it was time to leave, I was with my husband and my Pastor. I remember the expression on my husbands face, it looked like he was smiling. I remember my Pastor saying that he didn’t know what my husband was thinking, but it sure looked like he was going to say something! I remember bending over to kiss my husband and hug him and I looked into his blue, blue eyes and said, “I know baby, I love you too”…and then it was time to go. That night, my sister stayed the night and I slept not. I thought if I slept holding his work shirt, with his scent, I could sleep, but when I opened the hospital bag, his shirts ad all been cut, they didn’t even look like shirts. I put them back in the bag, and have not opened it since.”

**************************************************************************************************************

I was doing good until today. I had to work and it was very difficult to keep it together. I did it, for the most part, but if I could have, I would have taken a sick or deduct day and stayed home, but I couldn’t so….

During P.E. today, as I was heading into my 2nd of 4 laps (1 mile) around the track, I asked my husband for “a sign.” and I got one. ❤ http://askingangels.com/psychic/signs/feather-angel-sign.php

This time of year is always difficult for me. Today, I’m thinking of my Dad. It was this day, 2011 that he passed away. He was 83 years old. We had a rocky relationship from the time I was 18, until about a year before he passed away.

on 11/26/2006, my close friend, Brandy passed away. This one really stunned me. She was approx 29 when she passed away. Sane age as my Mom, when my mom passed away in 1968, ANYWAY, Brandy had one daughter. I met them both when she enrolled her daughter in the private school I was working at, and they became part of my life. Her daughter now has a daughter of her own, and they both remind me of “Brandy and Niah.”

Then on 11/29/2005, my LOVE, my husband died suddenly and unexpectedly. His birthday is next month, the 21st, so close to Christmas, which was his favorite time of the year.

I could easily hate this month, but I won’t. It’s not all bad, it’s just difficult and I don’t look forward to this time of the month.

I do hope everyone had a blessed and happy Thanksgiving.

P~

(email sent to stepdaughter and her grandmother at 3:16pm)

Hi L and A,

L, I hope your foot is feeling better today! Dad told me what happened.

Sarah forgot to wear her shin guards at soccer practice one night and got kicked in the shin. It’s made her a little gun shy now, but she does good still. She had a game this morning, and lost. it’s her teams 2nd loss. This past Thursday at practice, us parents had to play the kids and we TIED -! LOL! It was real fun! Thomas got a great kick in as well! Being out in the cold and damp air though did NOT help the cold I am trying to fight off though. I was wiped out Friday!

I am going to be signing Thomas up for T-ball I think, real soon. I got a paper a bout it from Sarah’s school, for baseball and softball. I think it will be good for him to play.

How are you, A? hope all is well with you and yours.

We are going to my sisters for Thanksgiving…geez, I can’t believe another year is almost over!

Anyway, here is my little “Pocohontas!” thats who she reminds me of in this picture. bye for now…

P~ talk to you soon!”

THIS kid deserves to have the BOOK thrown at him. I hope the Prosecution didn’t screw up their case yesterday. THIS kid’s action was premeditated and I WISH his mother was on trial as well.

A friend posted this on FB yesterday. “

As Veteran’s day approaches, I feel compelled to remind everyone that just because a soldier returns from the war zone doesn’t mean that the battles are over. The physical,The psychological…The battles remain. Who’s got my six?I’m going to make a bet, without being pessimistic, that of my friends, less than 5 will take the time to put this on their wall. We are still losing approximately 22 Veterans a day to PTSD. More needs to be done to help Veterans in need. “

Keith rarely spoke of his time in the Military, being a Vietnam Vet. He told me little bits here and there, some good, some not so much, some horrible, but THIS seemed to always be something he felt to his core. Happy Veterans Day to all that served. ❤

https://www.hprc-online.org/social-fitness/relationship-building/ask-yourself-whos-got-my-six#:~:text=For%20World%20War%20I%20fighter%20pilots%2C%20their%20%E2%80%9C6,and%20well-being%20and%20protect%20each%20other%20from%20harm.

Happy 246th Birthday ❤

I had been reminded of this post recently: https://mspisceangal2020.com/2016/09/21/say-what-3/ .

It got me thinking of all the crap I’ve been through just minding my own business. Come to find out that about 2 years ago, this girl’s baby daddy spilled some beans on his own FB wall about how social media was the reason HIS life exploded awhile back. He said he learned how 1 out of 3 couples cheated using social media and have shared explicit pictures and videos through social media apps, and he was one of those people it happened to. He said it had gone on for 6 years, behind his back…6 YEARS!

SO…while this girl spread rumors to my son about his dad, my late husband, a dead man that can’t speak, about his dad cheating with me while he was married to her grandmother, SHE, this granddaughter, was the one who was actually cheating on HER baby daddy! As my late husband always used to say, “The cream always comes to the top.” MY favorite saying is, “What’s done in darkness will come to light.” THAT is Biblical.

This girl accused me of being crazy, taking Xanax and other meds. Um, not I, but perhaps she should have been.

My late husband and his ex, this girl’s grandmother, divorced in 1977. I was 13 years old. Didn’t even know who Keith was then.

I really should write a book. LOL