Reflective

I’ve been up since 330am. Crazy. Sometimes people say the shittiest things to you with “reckless abandon” I guess would be the word. It has, once again, fucked me up, like when Keith’s ex posted on either mine (MSN SPACES) or a friends (LiveJournal) public message board accusing me of killing Keith.

I’m not elevating Anthony to Saint-hood. He had his faults, who doesn’t? He wasn’t a good father after I left, and blamed me for things gone wrong. I never accepted it. Anthony was a decent human being though. He did have a good heart, for the most part. He was mostly just a goofy person. He liked to laugh and have a good time. He loved his sisters and he loved his mom.

Sainthood? No, but the thing with me is I can remember the good times we had, and focus on them. I can look at the pics I have of him and a few of his family members with Sarah as a baby, and smile fondly. We had a child together, and while he wasn’t a good dad, he was a decent human being. His demons were strong, though he did fight them. I believe they may have had more to do with his sudden death than anything.

What I also don’t do is wish death on people, don’t accuse people of killing others, and I’m not happy someone died, whether I know them, personally or otherwise. Keith’s ex told me “I will be sure to piss on your grave when you die…” I will breathe a sigh, and say “she’s finally out of her mental and emotional pain” when she dies.

I wrote all this to say, DO BETTER,BE BETTER, BE KIND, THINK before you speak, or just don’t say anything. You don’t know how your words will impact someone who is hurting.

TTFN,

P~