Happy July 3rd…

I hope this post finds you all doing well. I’m thankful for everything, but at the same time, I’m in a FML kinda mood, ya know?

Everything is so frustrating to me right now. Life, the world, the SCOTUS decision on Roe v Wade, gas prices, EVERYTHING prices.

I make decent money, yet, it is still not enough to survive. CRAZY. I am in the process of filling out applications online to get a part time job so that I can freaking LIVE a little. pay my bills, pay off a credit card sooner, because I had to use IT to buy groceries. I pay $300 +/- a MONTH in gas to take care of some responsibilities, and I only live maybe 2 miles from my job, ONE freaking way! I mean, I know where the gas goes, and I recently made a comment to someone that I am going to start driving their truck so they can pay for gas because I can’t afford it anymore. I HATE living like this.

When I was married, it was tough, yes, as my husband paying child support, and while I was working, I was only making a thousand a month and 1/2-3/4 went towards the lack of funds lost to child support. That’s FINE, but my point is, even then, while money was tight, we were surviving. It got to the point that in 2003, my husband said I didn’t have to work anymore, I could stay home with the kids, it’s what he wanted as well, that he had about a year and a half left of child support and then we can BREATHE and do a little traveling, nothing extravagant, but do what we wanted. Wouldn’t you know it, 4 months after he pays his last support check, at the age of 56, a little less than a month before his 57th birthday, he dies, suddenly and unexpectedly. GEEZUS. Quite frankly, I never really gained my footing back. I’ve tried, and was doing ok. I couldn’t slack because I had two kids to raise, who were 8 and 12 at the time. Any money I got as his beneficiary, went to raising my two kids, a roof over our head, food in the house, a car to drive to get them too and from where they needed, all that. I thought it was hard then….

I’d rather go back in time, live like I did then, and still be doing ok. Now I’m making more money and can barely survive. WTF?? That doesn’t even make SENSE.

ANYWAY, anybody else feel this way? Anyone else struggling? Have a rough time of it? Leave me a message, I’d like to hear from you, about how you are, how you handle the stress you’re going through, and what some of your “survival” skills are, just to get through this thing called life…

Who’daThunk that at my age, 58, I’d have to look for a second job just to make ends me?

Damn….

TTFN,

P~

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