~This Is My World~

This letter was postmarked 3/17/1998. He received it on 3/20/98.

Keith was not agreeable to the visitations she set. They live 1200 miles away and the visitation schedule was peanuts.

In this latest letter she wrote, “Summer vacation 4 weeks from July 11- August 8th, 1998. If there is a problem with this as you stated in your letter please take me to court and let a third party decide. (The kids) do not want to stay at home every day with Patricia and the babies while you are at work. They kids want to spend their visitation with you not sitting at home while you work. Winter- December 26 to January 2nd- if you persist with your non agreement, the only other alternative is not to go at all. Weekends and in state visitations I offered one week in June because the kids like to visit you in shorter intervals and that was their request. This expense is not an issue with me as it is with you.”

Keith took her at her word. He decided to take her to court and let a third party decide the visitation.

I spoke to Anthony’s employer on 2/27/98 to verify eligibility for Sarah and was informed that she is covered under his policy.

On 3/19/98, I called his Health Plan and his employer and was told that in fact, there is NO such coverage on our daughter, but only for himself, his wife and her son. Remember, Anthony was court ordered on 12/5/95 to carry insurance on her.

HIS insurance is PRIMARY, there is no out of pocket costs to him. His employer pays 100%.

I reminded him he needed to take care of this and his Dental plan immediately. I also reminded him that my husband carries insurance coverage on our daughter as extra protection.

I ALSO sent a copy of the letter I wrote Anthony, to the DA’s office, requesting they take the necessary steps to ENFORCE the Health Insurance coverage order.

Anthony and I came to an agreement for him to pay his share of uncovered medical expenses. He owes $224.39. I don’t care about the change.

He agreed to $20 a month, starting April 1, 1998 and continuing on the first of every month, with his last payment being on March 1, 1999 in the amount of $24.39.

I told him if he pays cash, I’d provide a receipt. I also thanked him for being in compliance with the court order.

Sent the kids cards and Valentines Day presents today. Keith and I both signed each card.

Letter from the ex (he received 1/29/98) she wrote: “Letter dated January 7, 1998 from Patricia states the following, “I called our insurance company to verify coverage only to find out were are not showing up in the system as of yet. Both (insurance companies) advised me to send you a copy of the enrollment form so that when you take the kids to the doctor you can show your providers the form as proof of eligibility. Things should be find showing the form. Letter dated January 20, 1998 from Patricia states the following” I hope you haven’t experienced too much trouble with the medical end.”

Yep, that’s what I wrote her.

Then she commented ” Is your theory on being stepparents your own, because (their kids) would disagree they answer to only one set of parents? They respect (her husband) because he has been there for them on more than one occasion. And because that respect has been given and earned between them. It has nothing to do with you marry. Respect is earned not just given.”

HER disrespect to both Keith and I play a MAJOR roll in how the kids treat us.

Keith wrote a letter telling his ex that there is medical coverage on the kids and that it has been effective since 1/1/98. He told her she was sent the information and given the information on her answering machine on January 7th. He went on to say that in lieu of any cards until he receives them, she was told that upon presentation of the information provided to her, there would no problem with benefits being paid. She really has no idea? She really doesn’t pay attention to what is sent to her or told to her? OH wait, she only pays attention to “certain” things. 😉

He also told her that just as I am not the kids “mom,” her husband is not the kids “father” but being stepparents, we share an equal amount of authority and deserve equal amounts of respect as he and she gets being their parents.

So this letter dated January 17, 1998 started with comments about the IRS. Keith thought he would claim the kids because she never let him claim even ONE of them. Well, in 1996 he did and in January 1998 she brought it up. She told him that since he doesn’t pay 1/2 of what it costs to raise kids, and since the kids live with her full time she will not agree to him claiming one child. She said that they claim themselves and two kids and with the birth of your new baby this year you too claim yourselves and your two children. She wanted him to correct his error with the IRS “before this matter gets out of hand.” LOL

Under the title, “Gifts and Thank You’s:” she wrote that their kids “are old enough to choose by themselves whether to purchase gifts or cards for their family members. They are not children under the age of four anymore. If they want to purchase a card of gift for someone they either ask to go to the store or if I will pick something up for them or they make it themselves. I received a box and two cards one of which was from you on my birthday. This gift and card was not purchased by (the kids). Thank you for the gesture but it does seem appropriate for the situation. I do not feel bad if the kids don’t buy anything. The kids felt kinda weird about Pat buying their mom her birthday gift. The kids send thank you notes to people who they do not get a chance to thank in person.” She returned the gifts and cards that the kids had even signed. Keith was upset about that. We had asked the kids prior if it was ok with them we bought the gifts for them to send to her and they had no problem with it. After the gifts were sent back, Keith asked them if they were mad or upset and they said no but that their mom was mad we did this.

Under the title” Winter vacation and 1998 visits;” she wrote: ” The kids were asked by you while visiting at the holidays if their during the next year they would like to visit for five to six weeks during the summer. They do not want to spend longer than three to four weeks in Los Angeles, and they would like to spend most of that time with you not at home with Pat. They do not want to hurt your feelings and I asked them to tell you themselves. But they ask if I would just mention it too.”

Funny, when Keith asked the kids about spending 5-6 weeks at summer, they told him yes, it would be fun.

She also mentioned “Holidays, some other possibilities are Memorial Day, Labor Day and Thanksgiving Day” however on 2/10/1996 she said Thanksgiving was “not a realistic or economical possibility. They usually get out early on the Wednesday before and only have 4 days off. It would be too much for 2 days visit. I am unable to get them to an airport on any day except Saturday or Sunday due to the nearest major airport is a 3hour drive one way. We usually have snow conditions at that time of year and it would be a dangerous as well.”

Keith didn’t agree to ANY visitation she proposed.

She told him that she received his notice about the medical status not being set up as of yet and to please let her know as soon as possible when they kids are covered under his insurance.

I sent this to J today:

“Hi J-

Hope this note finds you well. Here is some dental information we recently received. I hope you haven’t experienced too much trouble with the medical end, but as long as you are showing the enrollment form giving the Fed. Group # of (******), there shouldn’t be any problems. Anyway, take care. Patricia”

Sent another letter to N & L. Send them a couple pics for them both. Asked if they got their last box of presents, we hoped they did and that it arrived safely. Told them Thomas was getting his 3rd tooth and is quite cranky. He is starting to pull himself up now, and I can’t believe he will be 8 months old by the time they get this letter. Told them to take care, and we love them.

I called the DA’s office and wrote Anthony a letter regarding it.

I told Anthony what I was told by the DA which was that they couldn’t tell me anything, that he has call his Public Defender if there’s a problem. That was pretty much the extent of our conversation.

I also told Anthony that I looked in my files and found out that a wage garnishment could never be more than 50% unless court ordered to be higher, but could never exceed 65%.

I told Anthony I was sorry I couldn’t be more help, to take care and talk will talk to him sooner or later.