J called at 8:00pm. I answered the phone. I spoke to her regarding visitation and other stuff and eventually hung up on her, sort of- I did say, “Bye.” She immediately called Keith back and laid into him. During our conversation, I gave her the times and dates for visitation and the conversation was decent to start. She also told me that last year was the first time the kids had gone to the fair where they live.
Then the script flipped. After a few minutes is when I realized the REAL purpose of her call.
J- Anyway, thanks for your letter, your sarcasm exceeds mine by all means, take it as a compliment.
P- (chuckling) Well…take what as a compliment? (still not sure what was happening)
J- that your sarcasm exceeds mine
P-(laughed) Out weighs yours?
J- FUCK…anyway, the other side of that is yes, I’ve sent you EOB”s w/out (her DH)’s social security number darkened out, but we did not give you the right to use his social security number!
P- Well, you know what though, I mean…
J- (interrupting me) So I told (her DH) all about it, so he’s gonna take the kids off his insurance company and he doesn’t have to carry them so he’s pissed, um which I knew he would be, and um, so he’s gonna take them off, which means that then you guys pay half of whatever your insurance company doesn’t pay.
P- Well, whatever…
J- (her DH) basically does this as a favor. He feels that he wanted to help take care of the kids and do whatever, try and do his part, in turn, to be turned around and slapped in his face and have his social security number used- I mean, so what that you had it.
P-Well you know what, it’s not used like the way you’re saying it
J-Well, I don’t know that now, DO I?
P- It’s not used, well, J, I mean, you’re a smart lady, you’re a (her job title), and I’m not a very…
J- (interrupting me again) Well, excuse me, and you’re the person that turns around and tells me that you guys have got to double check me twice and triple time on medical stuff
P- Who said twice and triple times? Who said, you know….
J- you question me about money
P- (chuckling) so…what did you call for?
J- and I turn around….
P- (I interrupted her) did you call for the flight arrangements and stuff?
J- I called just for this reason
P- for the flights
J- to tell you about the flights and (her DH) was gonna drop the kids from the insurance because he’s pissed off that you used his social security number
P- whatever he chooses.
J- when you were not authorized to do so.
P- Whatever he chooses, that’s his prerogative.
J- K, well then you guys can come up with that of that orthodontist bill.
P- Well, you’re supposed to be deducting it from that $100 a month
J- No, because I’m telling you what-
P- Well, then you’re not, um, you’re not
J- Keith- abiding by what?
P- by that agreement that you guys had that you know, that…
J- (interrupting me) what agreement was that?
P- that you guys had in June.
J- what agreement?
P- What agreement? that he pays all back support out of that $100 child care credit.
J- ok then, he’ll pay child support long after all this is done because of that reason, because half of that orthodontist bill is $1500.
P- and they’ve paid over $1000 already.
J- Who has?
P- the insurance
J- but the insurance won’t pay it because (her DH) is gonna drop it. You’re missing the point!
P- well then they’re not going to pay the rest of it because-
J- (interrupting me) NO, they’re not going to pay ANY of it.
P- Well, they’ve already paid it!
J- No, they’ll pull it all back out
P- oh really?
J- If I, if we cancel right now, it becomes null and void which means we have to make up the difference
P- that’s right, so that’s what, $500?
J- No, it’s $1500 a piece, actually it’s $1750 because it’s #3750 for the braces.
P- uh huh…
P- so then you would have to retro active the cancellation back to whenever they paid it.
J- the minute we cancel it- if something were to happen right now, and we cancelled that insurance
P- uh huh
J- it’s done, that’s it. That’s all they care about because we’re in the middle of the orthodontist treatment and that’s it.
P- uh huh…
J- no, it doesn’t have to be retroactive if, if we cancel right now, it’s done.
P-Well, I don’t think they would take back what they’ve already paid.
J- I believe they would
P- hmmm, well…I guess that’s something to inquire about
P- I guess that would be something to inquire about
J- I already know that- they already told me that up front when I did this!
J- I know you think I was blowing steam just to blow steam. I’m voicing my opinion of my husband who does not want
P- why can you do that and I can’t do that? When I do that, you laugh at me and say that I’m sticking up for him, putting on the boxing gloves and all this other stuff, but it’s ok for you to do that.
J- I’m telling you what he said
P- I tell you what Keith says
J- you tell me what you say.
P- No, I tell you what Keith says, you know, we’re married, we discuss things so, you know, I stand behind him he stands behind me
P- yeah, I don’t know what kind of relationship you and (her DH) have, if it’s a you know, convenience, or better offer, whatever, I don’t know you know, granted this is my first marriage, but I do have some kind of knowledge of what a relationship is supposed to be like, and the communication is supposed to be like
J- So what are you trying to say?
P- So, I’m just – my point is you’re, you’re basically telling me your opinion of what your husband says and I do the same thing, but you turn it around and laugh at me.
J- but my husband is not sticking his nose into my business between Keith and me. He doesn’t call insurance companies, he doesn’t stick any part of it, he doesn’t get in the middle of any of it, unless it gets out of hand.
P- Well, good
J- He doesn’t Patricia!
P- well, good, I read the letters you send
J- he doesn’t EOB’s
P- he doesn’t copy them? Is that what you said? He doesn’t what?
J- he doesn’t keep track of the EOB’s, he doesn’t sent text , he doesn’t keep track of who’s keeping score to who, he doesn’t make plane arrangements, he doesn’t do any of this, because he feels it’s my business.
P- and? Well, your point?
J-my point is- it’s none of yours!
P- Well, then, hang up and call Keith back…
and I hung up.
Of COURSE she immediately called Keith back. Amongst the many things, she told Keith that “it’s an invasion of (her DH’s) privacy for Patricia to be handling his affairs with his own social security number.” (HUH? It’s about the status of claims and submitting claims PROPERLY for the kids, nothing illegal or privacy invasion there)
Keith had asked her “so what’s your problem? why are you making this in such a big deal?” she told him, “because all Patricia had to do was call me.” Keith said, “I mean… give me a break _ I mean, you’re the one that’s out of hand!”
She then tells Keith, “OK, but Patricia on the other hand telling me that she don’t fuckin trust me as far as she can throw me with the money and you gotta keep track of me making sure I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doin’, and I’m not competent to raise two kids, but hell, she’s gotta keep on top of me about the EOB’s but she’s telling me that I’m incompetent? tell me that I don’t know what hell I’m doin’? Well, I’m telling you I don’t want her having my husband’s social security number, she’s already got it, great! I didn’t authorize her to use it. If she’s got a problem with (her DH’s) social security number, call me, I’ll take care of!”
Keith told her, “there aint no problem, the problem was taken care of, why was there a problem? there was no problem”
J responded, “because SHE GAVE IT OUT WHEN SHE WAS NOT AUTHORIZED TO DO SO!”
Keith told her again there was no problem and she said, “OK, well, (her DH) is pissed he’s gonna take the kids off the insurance company so that means you can pay half of what’s leftover after your insurance.”
So they went back and forth, she pissed Keith off. Then after speaking to HIM, she wanted to talk to me again, to apologize. Maybe he should have said no, reminding her that I was pregnant, due any day, but he also knew she would just prolong this issue, and milk it so he called me back to the phone.
J- are you there?
J- Um, I appreciate your help with in taking care of all this stuff but at the same time, please let me handle the stuff with (her DH)’s insurance company and I really don’t want to upset you, I know that you are getting ready to have a baby and what not an it was not my intention, um, at the same time, I would appreciate the same back that um, try not to upset me. I know this goes against your nature of having to pay like, Kissy, but I don’t want to play kissy I just want to treat you with some respect, and the fact that um, you’re trying really hard to be part of this but I think that we should be on the same side.
J- instead of on opposite ends.
P- I’ll call a truce but I’m always gonna be on Keith’s side, and as far as the insurance goes, I won’t, you know, I mean, we just got a bill today, for the physicians so I’ll just send you a copy, and that’s it.
J- Well, kinda tell me where you’re at with it. What you’ve done so far.
P- um, that’s it, just what I told you in the letter, sent out the EOB to the insurance, I mean, to the hospital so that they can send it to your insurance, and just got a physicians bill today.
P- and you can call them with the information
J- doesn’t Keith’s insurance pay for all of this because it was an emergency visit?
J- they won’t pay for all of it?
P- no, because, well…
J-it wasn’t an emergency was it?
P- It was an emergency but, but he wasn’t, I don’t know, they said something about he wasn’t physically hurt. So, I’m not sure, oh it wasn’t a physical injury you know, like when he hit his head…
P- that type of thing, so…. so….
J- Ok, so I’m sorry I didn’t mean to even get Keith upset, this isn’t, was not my intention. All I was calling for was to find out about the plane tickets, its same thing as before, I just don’t want to be picked at. I get enough picking in my life as it is, and things have already gone…I just don’t want to be picked at about this stuff, about medical or whatever.
P- well, you know what? I respond, I treat people the way I’m treated.
J- I didn’t send you a letter
P- since July, you’ve hated me, you’ve told me the kids hated me, you’ve told me to butt out, but you know, it’s, it’s it’s you always say something about me or you confront me in person or you know, and I’ve only met you once, that’s the sad part.
J- you know what the sad part is? The very first time that I ever got on the phone with you- you were such a bitch to me then.
P- OH, it was me….
P- Oh, see, yeah I know, it’s never you, it’s always me or Keith
J- and you said your words exactly were, “Keith was harassing me and yelling at me and so I’m sorry, I thought you, I thought it was something else.” and that was your very first, very first time I ever talk to you on the phone, and the reason I talked to you was because I figured that Keith was upset and irate that I could talk to you, you could talk to me calmly and what you did was you just got irate too and that was the very first time.
P- uh huh
J- so, and I was trying to talk to you about visitation and that you can calm down, but that’s not the point. I mean that didn’t happen. So that’s neither here nor there.
P- no, it’s not but you know, was saying I respond to people you know they way they treat me is the way I treat them, you know?
J- once again, you’re getting defensive with me. You’re automatically defensive with me.
P- No, I’m – well, you know what, I will give you that much because at times, I am but
P- Why? Why do I get defensive with you?
J- Why are you defensive with me? If you don’t know me, why
P- Oh I know enough about you- I know that they you talk to to me and Keith, I mean, I’ve had a couple years experience with that, you know?
J- but you didn’t know me
P- But I do have to say that that as mean as you are to me, I have to be equally as nice…
P- and if my letters are, are sarcastic then, you know, don’t talk to me like I’m stupid.
J- it’s like I told Keith, it’s like you wouldn’t be writing these letters to your friends
P- oh, you would, you bet? I just wrote one, uh, not too long ago.
J- Wow, and how many friends do you have?
P- I got tons- this one particular, yes, because she wrote me a nasty letter the weekend Keith and I got married- 600 pound woman was mad because I didn’t bring her in my car, so she got really bitchy and told me a few things about how all the problems with you and Keith are my fault. I don’t think so, “you don’t know ANY thing about the situation, you’ve been there when we’ve had to call the police when J called and harassed us, so don’t give me any shit.”
J- see, but once again Patricia, you’re not gonna calm down off this, you’re not gonna come and say-
P- you know what, J? When you just called me, just a little bit ago, I was fine, I was nice to you , I was pleasant with you
J- Until I said something-
P- and you started jumping on my case about insurance and that’s why I said, “What did you call for? did you call for flight arrangements?”
P- and look what happened
J- and about insurance
P- look what happened
J- look what happened what? What do you want me to say?
P- you know what? you want me to call a truce?
J- I’m not gonna
P- OK, this is a truce, J, I’m not gonna stand here and argue with you. Uh, my, I about to probably go into labor within the next 24-48 hours
J- I thought you were due for 2 weeks according to the letter you sent (SD)
P- No, I just, the cervical plug, you know, “the show” broke today- this kids has been pushing like crazy today.
J- Do you know what it is?
P- I have no idea, they can’t be 100% sure-
J- what do they think it is?
P- a girl
J- like I said,- I’ve tried to be nice about it and you continue to want to be defensive and I’m not going to sit here and be defensive with you and argue with you anymore. You’re right, you’re not in the condition to do that. You have other things to do, going on in your life so that’s the way that it is. Um, if something happens that you don’t make the travel arrangements, please let me know and I will make them.
P- well, I thought they were-
J- If you go into labor tomorrow, obviously you can’t make travel arrangements.
P- Well, Keith and I have to figure out if we are going to buy them this week or the week he gets paid again- I’m not working anymore, so money’s kinds tight.
J- um hm
P- but we will get them before you know, within the 21 days before they leave.
J- well, that’s what I kinda figured that’s why I wanted to let you know before hand so that we can have the time frame there to work out the payment wise too.
P- so I’ll call tomorrow and find out what the payment would be for different times like Friday earlier? you said
J- whatever. You see what works within common sense wise. I trust your judgement as far as common sense that you’re gonna figure out you know, I’m telling you what I’m gonna do and what I wanna do versus whatever, so. Like you said before, you have the time to do it, so common sense says you’re not gonna get them a flight in the middle of the night.
J- no, fine. k, well I’m sorry that I upset you but at them time, I”M glad that I called and we can work some thing else out so that I’m not in another uproar about everything.
P- alright, bye.
and I hung up,
“The bloody show happens when your body is preparing to go into labor. And, yes, as the phrase implies, it involves the appearance of blood. Right before the big event, your cervix (the lower narrow portion of your uterus) begins to expand or dilate to allow baby to eventually fit through it. “