I know I have been. I know why- I think. Past relationships. My Mom died when I was 4, and I think that’s probably when my huggy phase started. My dad wasn’t a real huggy person, but I believe my mom was.
Then in my early 40’s, I became a widow., suddenly and unexpectedly. Here one hour, he was gone 4 hours later. As time went on, and I entered into another relationship, which I’m still in, 14 years later, I always needed to be near him, touch his arm, hold his hand, make sure he was still there. At night, i would hold a corner of his boxers, just to know he’s there, or lay on his arm, sometimes do both.
I have since outgrown that, not because I wanted to, I still get anxious, but I don’t think I was ever able to get him to understand why I was like that, so I had to just stop being like that. I felt that he thought I was too clingy.