Author: Patricia

in this email the ex wrote Keith, “First of all the e-mails are addressed to Richard not anyone else….” A few sentences later, she writes, “Keep your personal comments to yourself . And tell your wife to do so too.” HA! The ex was emailing about their son driving and college. How did I get involved? LOL She wants Keith to help their son get his permit here in CA even though he lives in WA and taking college courses in high school. The kids are supposed to be here in a few days.

she tells Keith that “part time of full time parenting is no different” that his responsibility to the kids is the same and that continuing with their education while they are with him and supporting their activities remains the same whether they are in WA or CA. she tells him, “don’t let the kids sit home everyday doing nothing, learning nothing, help them out with their lives and the choices they make.” Well, he can talk to the kids about their lives and their choices, but getting them into summer school here and getting their permit here is really not possible since their primary residence is NOT this state. Why doesn’t she understand that?

EOB that was sent 5-17 was delivered today at 2:38pm.

Received an EOB yesterday 5-16, and mailed it off to J today at 09:16am.

Ex responded to Keith’s email of 4/30/00. Lots of BS, no surprise, but one thing she did say was “I can tell you recorded my conversation which is very illegal and can’t be used against me. My conversation with you is between me and you. Not for your wife’s ears. Yes we share legal custody and that doesn’t mean that the kids aren’t allowed to see my family. Regardless of your feelings I still have a right to spend my time and their time as I see fit.”

Actually, here are the facts:

1. due to the harassment during the Summer of 1995, with the ex placing 2 false police report calls to our local law enforcement, we were instructed to write the ex a letter advising her that any and all conversations between the 4 adults from then on out would be recorded. the first report was telling the Watch Sargent that Keith had taken the kids out of the county of San Diego and was holding them against their will. The second report was when an Sheriff had placed a call to the ex. The Deputy did. She called the ex, told her she was there at the house, the kids were fine and happy and if there was any kind of emergency, their father would call her, so what was the problem? I asked the Deputy what happened and she said, “she hung up on me.” The ex hung up on the Deputy and immediately called the same Watch Sargent again, accusing the deputy of being rude and hang up on her. SO NOT the case.
2. So, ex has known since the summer of 1995 that HER and her husbands calls placed to our home would be recorded. Just them, not the kids, just the adults, AND she continued with the calls.

On April 25th, the ex had sent Keith a letter regarding “past due child support” and “past due uncovered medical expenses” and other bullshit. At one point in time, she had even called Keith to ask him what grade he would give her as a Parent. He gave her a C+ with reservation. She called 4/25/00 at 7:36pm.

He told her that for several years now, according to her emails and letters, the kids have been told BY HER that he “does not care about them, he does not love them, he doesn’t not care to help them out with anything that WHATEVER and ANYTHING they experience or feel or go through does NOT concern” him and now most recently, she told them that he “didn’t need them around him (during times of sorrow) for comfort.”

He went on to say that according to her letters and emails she has “exposed and discussed with (son) and (daughter) the problems we have between us and have blamed innocent people for these problems and in the process, tainted my relationship with the kids.” He wanted her to explain to him HOW, but telling the kids these things over and over again to the point of them ACTUALLY vocalizing these degrading and untrue comments about him, is in their best interest? How are they expected to open up to him about ANYTHING they may have questions or concerns about when all they are told is that “it doesn’t concern him” their dad. He asked “How do you think it makes me feel, or them, when they find out (eventually and if they do not already know) that you offered your husband to ADOPT my kids as his ow and take them away from me? How do you think it will make them feel, if they do not know already, that you “HATE ME, and you HATE ME MORE AND MORE everyday?”

At one point the ex brought up her sister and her sisters kids. According to the ex, they aren’t very good examples for HER kids. One smokes weed at 14 and one, at 12 has ” has been in several fights and has done the whole juvenile hall thing.” She told Keith “and don’t underestimate your son smoking dope.” The ex said that since it was her family (sister, niece and nephew) she will take care of the situation “to the point of turning (her niece) in to the authorities and letting them handle it. Keith said, “but yet, when I express my concern to you and tell you that if your 14 year old niece offers my kids to “get stoned” (your phrase) I will drive down to El Cajon and make the phone call myself, you accuse me of being narrow minded and tell me I have NO RIGHT to tell anyone else’s kids what to do even thought it will affect (his son) and (his daughter,)” She said if it ever came down to it, she would turn in her niece, but it really isn’t her nieces fault, it’s her mothers.

She also told Keith that she’s getting the distinct impression that Keith thinks she, the ex, “doesn’t do a good job as a parent, hasn’t done a good job, that she’s a failing parent and she’s somehow inadequate at it.” Keith asked her if she was baiting him.

She went on to blame me for their issues and that he let things get out of hand. He asked concerning what and she said, “I’m not saying concerning anything, I didn’t call to argue with you. I called to find out what you thought as far as me being an adequate parent. She continued,

J- you know I called the other night to talk to you and the blatant disregard, she never asked. She never asked if everything was ok, if the kids were ok, nothing.

K- uh, what?

J- she never asked

K- well now when what?

J- when I called

K- I don’t remember talking to you

J- you didn’t.

K- that’s right

J- exactly

K- so what?

J- I called and your wife answered the phone, and she said that I cannot talk to you, she never asked.

K- we were busy, I don’t remember you ever saying anything was wrong.

J- well, nobody asked,

K- oh so now we have to ask? When you call?

J- you know what? I don’t have to talk to her about (SS and SD). I don’t have to talk to her, I don’t have to talk….

K- look, look, look, are you warming up to something here or what?

J- No, I don’t have to talk to her about (SS and SD), you are their father, I can talk to you, I can deal with you, I don’t need to deal with Patricia, there’s no reason for me to deal with her at all.

K- and?

J- there’s no reason, so when I called and asked to speak to you, I really wanted to speak to you, and she said you were busy, whatever, fine, but you never call back.

K- that’s right, because we were out late.

J- ok, well, it’s a week now

K- excuse me?

J- It’s been a week now

K- a week now what?

J- since I called

K- so, what’s the problem? I mean, I call the kids all the time, when I do call, they never call me, so what’s, what’s the problem? You call me once and I’m supposed to call you right back and if I don’t, what? What’s the deal?

J- there’s no deal

K- that’s right, there is no deal.

J- it’s all about pettiness and you let it get out of hand

K- excuse me?

J- It’s all about Pettiness and you let it get out of hand.

K- HEY look, don’t even start

J- start what?

K- you said, you said..OOOH oh, “don’t start what?” you start throwing these little barbs at me and go, “don’t start what?” you know, is this conversation over?

J- yeah,

K- alright,

J- hung up.

(emailed to stepdaughter at 12:59pm)

“Hi L,

just wanted you to know that I read your note to the kids at school. Kaila and Travis both laughed and blushed and Lindsey, Lisa and Amy said to tell you hi back. Nisja (do you remember her?) asked, “what about me? what did she say to m e?” and I told her you said hi to everyone else. All the kids were real excited and asked when you would be back.

Yesterday morning while getting ready for school, Travis accidentally sprayed cologne in his eyes and he came to school with a wet wash cloth and watery and a little swollen eyes! Poor thing! I guess he was excited to see and hear his name from you. He is so funny (and LOUD!)

Well, talk to you later! Have a great weekend!

Friends,

P~”

(emailed to my stepdaughter at 12:59pm)

“L!!!!!!

Just wanted to tell you that Thomas can say your name now! he was looking at the pictures on the wall in our bedroom and he said, “that’s me,” and he was looking at the one of him for his birthday, then he said, “there’s GUY!” meaning you, and I said, “say L…” and he did! and he said “there’s N…, Daddy, and momma!” pretty cool huh? He can also say Lindsey and for Sarah he says “ti tee” he is singing right now.

Anyway, talk to you later!

Love, P~”

Keith had been talking and emailing with his kids, since his mom passed away. He told them on 3/11 that he wished they could be there. His daughter wrote him back on 3/13 telling him that she really wanted to come down here, but she “guesses we can’t.” She tells him on 3/15 that she knows that “g-ma will always be in my heart always.” Keith responded to this and explained to his daughter that he wanted them to be here, but that he could not afford to pay half of the expenses. He said he explained that to her mom, and that he also told her mom that if she wanted to pay for the airfare to get the kids there, she could, and he would really appreciate that. He also told his daughter who was almost 14 now, that instead, he got accused of leaving her and her brother out on purpose and of not needing them there to sooth him because he has the family he needs there. He explained that her grandma had family that couldn’t attend and no one was holding it against them, and that no one was accusing them of things that were not true. He told his daughter that he hopes she understood and that he hopes she knows that if he had the money to get them there, they would have been there, and that he was looking forward to seeing them in a couple of weeks.

HIs daughter wrote back that she wasn’t made at him but she was really mad when she heard her and her brother couldn’t come down. “…I was so mad…” she added. She had sent a poem she wanted read at the funeral and the Priest did read it.

The EX then chimes in at 1006pm:

“So sorry to hear you misunderstood my compassion for the loss of your mother. The conversations that took place after you lost your temper were only between you and I. I never told the kids you didn’t want them there or that you didn’t need them.

So your email to (daughter) confused her I never said anything to her about you. I let both kids make up their own minds based on their conversations with you. I never said anything to either of the kids about you. (her name)”

REALLY now? I doubt that, but if it is true, then the saying, “what you do in darkness will come to light.” really shines here.

She just doesn’t stop. on this day at 1:46pm she emailed her response to Keith. She writes:

“So sorry to hear that you are so upset you fail to see that in the event of your brothers passing you failed to inquire if the kids could attend or attempted to get them to visit. It is I who is requesting and inquiring for the kids to attend the funeral. You never mentioned it.

Go ahead that let all your relatives see the e-mails and maybe they will see that I am concerned about the kids being there during this time. And rudeness to even tell us when the funeral is or where it is being held seems rather odd.

More odd is that the e-mails you are sending don’t sound as if you wrote them. (son) and (daughter) have been bothered and upset by the loss of their grandmother and even more upset by attitude with me through your e-mails.

How can you turn this around and accuse me of causing stress when I asked you if the kids could attend and you have never even mentioned the fact that they could or not. You never even brought up the subject. You left them out on purpose because of your other obligations.

I fell that their grandmothers passing was in fact an emergency of a family emergency. Obviously you have the family you need there to sooth you during your loss and you don’t need the kids. They understand.

I don’t understand but like you said who cares about me. I am just their mother. Too bad you feel that I can’t and shouldn’t attend Betty’s funeral. I have thought of her often and now God will be able to share her peace in heaven. may God forgive you all the hate you have inside for others.”

UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE! My mother in law died 3/10/2000, just 4 days ago. Keith has told his ex that he cannot afford to pay for the kids airfare to come out 4 times, BUT he did tell her that if she wanted to pay $356 for tickets (per child) plus any extra expense, she could and he would APPRECIATE it. Why didn’t she do that? Out of the KINDNESS and GOODNESS of her heart? Clearly she didn’t want to. Yet she tells the kids otherwise, blames their dad for all this and tells them their dad doesn’t need or want them there.

THAT is PURE EVILNESS.

Ex was still going on and on about airfare, and attending the with the kids. She can’t be kind or generous and send the kids, by paying the airfare for them, she’s trying to jam him up and guilt him into paying half. Maybe she should use the child support she got to pay for their tickets… just a thought.

Anyway, Keith told her again, that he cannot afford to help pay for the kids expense to attend, no splitting the cost, nothing. He said he wished he could but he can’t. He told his ex he doesn’t need this hassle right now, especially right now. He reminded his ex that his mother just died and he doesn’t need this hassle from her. He told her to not ask again about this issue and he’s told her 4 times already that he cannot help. That was at 1230pm. 4 times in 3 days, WTF is WRONG with this woman!

9 hours later she whips off another email. The subject of this email is (son’s name) and (daughters name) Grandma. She goes on to write:

“Richard, (she started calling him this, or “Dick” which only SHE calls him because EVERYONE calls him by his middle name, Keith.)

More importantly here is the fact that (son) and (daughter) have lost their grandmother. They will not have the opportunity to share that loss with their family as they should. Your rudeness with my concern over the kids and their loss is uncalled for.

This is an emergency and one that could have been organized despite the money so that the kids could attend the funeral. If something were to happen to you would you like to me to say to them that I cannot afford to send them.

I realize that you are not able to afford so that is why I offered to help. Once again you have not said when or where the funeral so that we can attend or send flowers at least.

I knew Betty for over 17 years now and she was always so generous and nice she would want the kids to attend her funeral so that they could be with all of the family during this time. I can still see her when she was still her old self as I never saw her sick and she always wanted her family to get along together and to have peace and love in her home. I know she is without pain and confusion now and now she is with loved ones who left before her. I hope you find the peace that she wanted you to have and that while you share the memories of her with your family you remember her grandchildren who were not able to attend because of money and due to lack of love or caring from (son) and (daughter). May God see you through this, (ex’s name).”

She is HEARTLESS.

Keith wrote her back at 1052pm:

“(ex’s name),

Another important fact is that (son) and (daughter) ALSO lost their UNCLE 13 months ago. They did NOT share THAT loss with their family “as they should” either. Them attending HIS funeral was not an issue. Your TOTAL disrespect to me and my family during this time of loss is COMPLETELY uncalled for.

This is NOT an emergency. The emergency happened when they could NOT revive MY MOM at the nursing home she was in…just minutes before my DAD got there to see her. THAT was the emergency. The viewing and funeral are the AFTERMATH of that emergency.

If you want to send flowers you can send them to my house. My dad is here along with all my other relatives (who, by the way are well aware of your e-mails so far and not appreciating them in the least), and he will be sure to get whatever arrangement you send.

If you want to pay $356.00 for tickets (plus whatever extra fee there is for whatever reason) for the KIDS to attend, an hour and a half service you do that. (I would appreciate it) They can stay here WITH ME of course and they will attend the service WITH ME. I CANNOT afford to spend the money right now, for as much as I would want THEM here WITH ME. YOU, however, are not welcomed to attend. YOU have caused so much stress for us during this time, unnecessarily, it is PATHETIC and SICK! LEAVE ME ALONE, (ex’s name). Keith.”