Welcome~ Enter At Your Own Risk~ I Couldn't Make Some of This Stuff Up~ My Experience in Dealing With A High Conflict Baby Mama, Parental Alienation and Just Trying To Get Through This Thing Called Life~
Author: Patricia
Hi! I'm a Mom to two great kids, well adults, but you know, our kids are always our babies 🥰🥰 I’m also “Nana” to a beautiful baby girl, as well as to my Grandpup, Peace. She's a Belgian Malinois who is full of "piss and vinegar" if you know what I mean, LOL but she grew on me and she's a sweet girl with A LOT of personality. My Love and I have been together since 2007. I met him through my late husband. I was married for 9.5 years when my husband died suddenly and unexpectedly. We were together for a total of 11.5 years. We loved each other for the rest of HIS life. #GoneButNEVERForgotten I also started writing this blog, because HIS story needs to be told. His story of experiencing Parental Alienation and the Damage it did to him and his kids. It didn't just happen to him and his kids, but as anyone knows, PA has a trickle down effect. His older kids have nothing to do with our children, because of what their mother has told them about me. It's very sad. I will also provide links to articles I've read about PA and all that goes with it, in hopes of helping others.
SO, the kids were supposed to leave today at 517 pm departure time. Keith, Chris and kids left for the airport at 3:45 pm. Plenty of time, normally. They arrived at the airport at 4:47pm At 5:05, they got stuck at the metal detector, due to a sock load of pennies that Keith gave them. The girl at the counter at the terminal called inside the plane to see if their seats were available and she was told that because the kids weren’t there 10 minutes before departure, the seats were given away. The thing is, the kids WERE there.
At 5:20 pm, I told Chris to called their grandma at home and let her know the kids missed the plane and Keith would call her when he got home. At 5:30 pm, Chris said he called and let the phone ring 20x’s and no one answered.
Everyone got back home at 6:30 pm. Keith called Sacramento Airport to have their grandmother paged. N told his grandma what happened. She also talked to Keith, and asked, again, what happened, and Keith told her the same thing. She wanted to know why they didn’t make other arrangements while they were at the airport and Keith told her his main concern was getting in touch with her. He said he would call her later in the evening or tomorrow with new information.
L called her mother at 6:45 pm and left a message. Her mother called back at 7 pm and spoke to N. He told her what happened. She spoke to Keith and he told her what happened again. (Like mother like daughter!) She told Keith their son didn’t tell her what happened. He actually did, we were all right there and heard him, LOL. She then spoke to L.
At 7:45 pm, J called back and left a message. She said “It’s um, 8, 7:45 on Sunday, July 23rd,um, I called the airlines and I have the time I’m going to make a reservation for a certain time, so you need to give me a call back or you may call United right now, ’cause they are going to be booking up- filling up- they have several different times tomorrow from 7 in the morning and 7 at night. Thank you.”
9:27pm, called United, according to REP, no flight arrangements had been made yet.
10-1015pm- A called. (kids grandma). Asked if Keith had made arrangements yet, I told her no, that Keith will call tomorrow. There was an emergency with our landlord, and that was more important. She said, “Well, ok, bye.”
1045pm- made arrangements for tomorrow, same flight #, same time as today.
Between July 3rd and 4th, the kids did not request to call their mom, and a phone call to her was not enforced. Keith was trying to distract his kids from the incident a few days ago.
July 5th, Ex called our home 4 times. The last time was at 945pm. She wanted to know where her kids were, saying they should be calling her more frequently and let her know what’s going on. None of her messages from the day were picked up until 11:00pm as we were gone all day. The kids were exhausted and went straight to bed when we had gotten home.
July 6th, Ex called our home3 times between 9:30am and 11:30am. During the last phone call, amongst other things, she told Keith that if she doesn’t talk to the kids she’s “going to have to call the authorities.”
I told her daughter to call her mom at 11:38 am. L said her mom was talking to someone else on the phone.
Apparently, according to a phone message Keith got from a Floor Supervisor at his work, his ex called there at 11:44am. The supervisor told the ex that Keith would return within 30 minutes. The ex told her to tell Keith she called, that she was his ex wife in WA and he “has her kids.”
July 7th was the day. At 5:00am, before Keith left for work, he told me to have the kids call their mom and if she wasn’t home, they would call her in the evening.
The kids finally woke up at 11:15am. I told the kids to call their mom, just like Keith asked me to. His son told me they can’t call her because she was at work. I told both kids that their dad said they will call her in the evening.
She beat them to the phone. Their mom called twice, once before 7pm and the second time at 7pm. She then called four more times, I assume to try and build a case for herself. The lies she spewed.
In a third message she wants the kids to kids “to call her once a day, every day while they are here” saying that if he is “just turning on the machine to catch her calls“ then he’s wrong. She wants to talk to them and wants to know they are ok.
In the fourth message, she called at 830pm. Her message was, “ it’s (ex) again, it’s 830. I’m trying to reach (kids). I’d like to talk to them please-um- I’m sure they want to talk to me- please let the, talk to me you’re not letting them. (Kids), if you can hear this message, they’re not letting you talk to me-I want to talk to the kids-please put them on the phone- PUT THEM ON THEM ON THE PHONE,” and she hung up.
5th voicemail was pretty much the same as the 4th one, but saying they probably can’t hear her message because we have the phone turned off and not letting them hear the phone and how she needs to tell them something….whine, whine, whine.
During the 6th message she says that there is documentation ever time she makes a phone call, it’s coming up on her bill and it’s not going through that she has to leave a message every single time. She then promptly hangs up as her call waiting beeped.
According to phone records, the kids called their mom at 831pm, and at her command, they called their grandma at 837pm.
In between those calls, at 835pm, 2 Sheriffs unit from Norwalk Dept showed up to check on the kids.
At 840pm, the Watch Sgt. from the station had called and left a message and wanted Keith to call him back before 1030pm.
I called the Sgt. back because was helping his kids deal with seeing 2 sheriffs units at our house, inquiring about them. The Sgt. Told me that Ex called him and told him that her ex husband had taken the kids out of the county of San Diego and was holding them against their will!
During our conversation and me explaining about the agreement and the letters and such, that the ex made a false police report/call, the Watch Sargent told us to write her a letter advising her that from this point on, any and all conversations between her and Keith and I would be recorded. We were also told that knowing our calls would be recorded, if she continues with the conversation, it’s consent.
Ex wife#2 called back two more times after all this. The first time, Keith hung up on her. The second time she spoke to her son, asking him when they were leaving, even though she already knew. He asked Keith and Keith told him. When he told his mother, she told her son to tell Keith she was not agreeable and wanted to speak to Keith. Keith said he would talk to her the next day about, and she did not want that, that Keith was playing games.
On July 8th, Keith called his dad to let him know all was ok for now. Keith’s dad told him Ex called him 3 times on the 7th as well. When Keith found this out, he asked me to call the ex’s local sheriff’s dept in WA to lodge a harassing phone calls complaint and request they speak to the ex.
Her local sheriffs dept went out to speak to her. SHE in turn, called our home and told the kids what I did.
Keith’s son told us on July 10th that his mother told him and his sister to call every day, even if he had to leave a message on the answering machine, she didn’t care, just call.
Yet another phone call from the ex to her kids at 630pm. She left a voicemail. Keith had his daughter call her back at 730pm. After speaking to her mother, Keith noticed his daughter looked upset and she said her mom asked, “what took so long to call back?” Both kids had explained to their mother they were outside playing.
Sometime between 10 and 11 am, J called and asked if Keith was home. I told her he was not. She asked me if Keith made the flight arrangements for the kids to fly to her mothers home from our home. I told her I believed he had but she needed to speak to him about everything because in her letter dated 4-16-95, she told me to butt out. J became IRATE and said she “couldn’t believe that all this shit was to be taken care of BEFORE” she came down and now SHE’S “the one needing to make all the fucking phone calls.”
A man’s voice in the background told her she didn’t need to talk to me about this and I agreed. I told her that Keith had called her at least 2 times that I know for sure but he had to leave messages plus he told the kids he would be working (see letter 5-22-95) and she stated she “must’ve never gotten the messages.”
She told ME how “fucking ignorant” I was and how I only hear one side of the story of what happened between her and Keith. I told her I was only going by the divorce papers we had in our possession and I read the “stip. amend. etc” and she claimed she had never heard of those papers and me once again how fucking ignorant I was and I didn’t know what I was talking about. I told her her signature was on them and she even had them notarized and she said, “OH, you know my signature? How’s that?” I said that unless someone is forging her signature, it’s hers because I read her letters and she just scoffed.
I told her if she didn’t comply with the divorce papers Keith might take her back to court in San Diego and she disagreed. I told her it would be there because that’s where the original divorce was filed and she said that Keith would have to pay for her and her attorney expenses. I told her that wasn’t true, but she had better be careful as Keith was on to her and I hung up.
At 12:51 pm, I called J and told her the flight arrangements. She wanted to know why we kept the kids until the 15th of July and I told her because that was what she stated in her 5-22-95 letter. that’s what she wanted, that’s what we did. She said she had written Keith a letter telling him that if he had vacation in July, he could keep the kids until the 23rd and if not he can only have the kids until the 15th. I told her she must have forgotten to mail it because he never got it, and she said, “Oh too bad.” I said “if that’s the case, I’ll change the reservations” and I hung up.
12:58 pm, J called and said the 15th was fine and I said, “we’ll see, I’m on hold with the airlines.” so I hung up. She called back and wanted to know what MY problem was. LOL. I told her I was still on hold with the airlines and she hung up. When I was done with the airlines, I called her back, left a message saying that my problem was I hated to be lied to, and I hung up.
6:33 pm, I called J and left the directions to our house, (by 8 am because that’s the time she said she was leaving SD to bring the kids up.
6:45 pm, had to call back and leave a corrected street name on the hotel answering machine for her room.
June 1, 1995-Filed with the court and sent a Notice of Change of Address to Anthony, stating I moved and what my new address is.
June 2, 1995-ALSO filed a Request to Enter Default and Request for Default Setting.
June 23, 1995- Filed Request for Entry of Default, Notice of Entry of Judgment.
In the DEFAULT JUDGMENT DECLARING EXISTENCE OF FATHER CHILD RELATIONSHIP, AND ORDERING CUSTODY, VISITATION, CHILD SUPPORT, I declared that Anthony has been served with the complain filed and has failed to answer or respond to it, and the default of the defendant has been duly entered and evidence having been introduced in open session of this court: IT IS THEREFORE ORDERED, ADJUDGED, AND DECREED that Plaintiff have judgment as follows:
Plaintiff Patricia (last name) is the mother of defendant Anthony (his last name)’s child, Sarah (full legal name), born August 1, 1993, age 1, hereinafter referred to as the “Minor Child.”
Plaintiff/Mother shall have sole legal and physical custody of minor child.
Defendant/Father to have no rights of visitation
As further support defendant shall pay one-half of uncovered medical costs incurred for the benefit of the minor chld, including medical, dental, orthodontic, psychological or psychiatric
A wage assignment shall be issued against defendant’s wages for any child support awarded.Default was entered as requested on 6-23-1995
Spring- Keith and EX agreed she would keep the kids.
Summer- DENIED– EX told Keith she “Did not know the people you are living with and you are unstable in your living conditions.” It was the EX that changed the plans and said she would use the $400 towards Christmas visitation.
The TRUTH is, Keith had sent ex $400 Cash to buy the tickets for at $198.00. She even sent Keith a quote dated 3/29, from Pioneer Travel that states “14 day adv. low $178, high $198* *commence travel after 06June no limit on length of stay, no fee for child on direct flights.”
Winter- 4 days- Out of the $400 Keith sent her for Summer, the ex used $248($124/each) for airfare for both kids. She pocketed the $152. He was to have two weeks, from 12/17 to 1/2. He moved late November. EX cancelled HIS visitation with the kids the first week of December, because he moved. She called during the time he was moving and was told that he no longer lived there. This was misinformation because Keith was still moving out when he had gone back to the old house to get the rest of his things, and he was told she had called. When he called her back 2 days after her phone call, she told him she cancelled his visitation because she “couldn’t find” him.
He was hurt and he was angry. He eventually got to spend 4 days with his kids, out of the two weeks they were in California. The rest of the time was spent with their grandmother, a woman afraid to go against her daughter for fear of not being able to see her grandkids. Imagine.
This was when I first met their two kids, who were 10 and 7 years of age.
Keith and Daughter Dec 1994Me and Kids December 1994
1st Letter: ” Anthony, Once again your girlfriend decided to intervene into something that is quite frankly none of her business. She certainly has a way of doing this! She lied on the papers you sent to (ex wife) about her address. Is she your paralegal? …
If Coleen is going to involve herself in our situation, that’s just fine because she is just making it worse for you and better for me! If she insists on involving herself, I suggest you inform her that our daughter is covered under (medical plan)! In fact, I just took her last week to her new pediatrician.
Coleen is so threatened by our situation it’s hysterical!…I support our daughter as her mother, which is more than I can say for you as her father!…I pay taxes as well…
Anyway I just wanted to let you know what’s up with the bills. I almost look forward to getting them just to see what she’s going to write next! It’s fine though, like I said, she’s doing you more harm than good by doing this, not only with the paternity suit I have against you, but if you and (ex wife) end up going to court, with that case as well, so I’d suggest you “call the dog off” for awhile, (figure of speech, no offense Coleen!) Toodles, Patty”
2nd letter:
“Dear Anthony, I am once again requesting ALL insurance information and cards due our daughter. I have written to you in the past regarding this problem. I have confirmed with (Insurance) Administrators and (Insurance Plan) that she is covered. I know these two companies have sent you cards for not only our daughter but for your other two children as well as your ex. It’s quite a shame you have to act like a child when it comes to the welfare of your own children…Please do the adult thing and send (ex-wife) what’s hers and mine what’s Sarah’s, then there will be no reason to keep writing you! Thank you in advance for your cooperation, Patricia”
Got another bill from the Pediatrician today for the same $105.00. It was sent to Anthony on 10-25-94 with the statement, “Per Patricia, Sarah is covered by (Father’s) insurance”.
Once again, Coleen intercepted to bill, wrote on it stating “NO SHE’S NOT LET her so called mother support her. We pay tax’s.”
WTF does THAT mean or have anything to DO with anything?
Called a friend of mine who is a Paralegal and she drafted up papers for me.
Complaint To Establish Parental Relationship: FC Section 7600. Checked all pertinent boxes, checked that child lives with me at my sister’s address.
I requested to have Sole Legal and Sole Physical custody, and that Anthony should have the right to visit Sarah as follows: A third party be present for any visitation, that Father be ordered to take a random drug/alcohol test before any visitation can be ascertained. Any visits to be monitored and supervised at all times, that Father was to establish a relationship with his daughter, that he has not seen her for a very long period of time. (since June 12, 1994). That his visits shall exclude his girlfriend Coleen because of her “issues” and that his girlfriend shall not get involved in any visits or intercept any communication regarding the minor child and father. The child is with Mother 100% of the time, and I requested that HE be responsible for a bill from Sarah’s pediatrician in the amount of $105.00 because he told me that he carries health insurance, but he hasn’t sent any proof or card.